In 1971, I returned home from Vietnam a different man. Constant exposure to the direct line of fire, mortar attacks, booby traps, and the atrocities of war affected me not only psychologically but also emotionally. Although I was alive, I was dead inside. My heart was cold, with ice flowing in my veins; I had become a casualty of war. 

   The moral foundation I once embraced had changed. At times, the way I thought, acted, and responded to life made no sense. Shaped by military training, my responses were quick and reactive. Without considering the consequences, I lived as an unprincipled rogue. For instance, after a man cursed my name, I decided to go after him with a shotgun to restore my honor, mostly to insult him rather than to hurt him. 

     My wartime buddy, a Mono Indian, was of the same character. We enjoyed the freedom of the open road on our motorcycles. One evening, my buddy caused a disturbance at a local bar; when we left, the police chased us down. They let my friend go home, but they arrested me. Sitting in the back seat of the police car, I overheard the police bragging that they had arrested the ringleader of the Indian reservation. 

     Nevertheless, God kept pursuing me. I had known Him as a child, but out of rebellion, I chose to live my own way. Yet no matter what I did or how far I ran from Him, His Spirit was there to bring me home. A major turning point came one day at a stoplight. As I looked over at the car next to me, my eyes were drawn to the woman at the wheel. 

   Suddenly, God opened my eyes. I saw that she believed happiness would come from fame, love, prosperity, and success. I realized that no matter how much she obtained, it would only lead to emptiness. While these things can be wonderful without God, they lack the true love, peace, and joy we have in Christ Jesus. I also became aware of spiritual warfare. I perceived angels and demonic forces raging in the heavenly realm over this lady’s soul. It dawned on me that heaven and hell are real; I could no longer “sit on the fence” and remain neutral. 

      I had to make a decision. In 1976, I received Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior. The power of the cross freed me from guilt and sin, and I became a new man in Christ. Soon after, my heavenly Father spoke to me, saying, “Welcome home, son.” He then filled me with His love and His Holy Spirit (James 1:17). The power of His love transformed my heart. The Lord tells us, 

   “A new heart also will I give you, and a new spirit will I put within you, and I will take away the stony (hard, cold) heart and give to you a heart of flesh…”  (Ezekiel 36:26).

     A transformed heart brings a transformed life. As it is written, “If anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away: behold, all things are new (2 Corinthians 5:17).

     Awakened to a new reality, I began the journey to draw closer to Him. Just as a man's love for his bride draws him to her, I am drawn daily to God to know His truth, wisdom, thoughts, and understanding. He desires that we experience His love and know our true identity as His beloved sons and daughters.

   There is life in His love! His love awakens our minds, hearts, souls, and spirits with the very life of God’s Spirit. God has given us a new heart to know Him (Jer. 24:7). To know His heart is to know His thoughts, His passions, His desires: it's all about a living relationship with our Creator. 

     Transformed by the power of His love, I have been raised from death to life. His love energizes my entire being daily with His presence. I am led, motivated, and moved by His love. When the time comes for me to go home, I have left instructions to be written on my tombstone as follows, 

    “I have met the Father and His love, and I learned to love with His love.”

In His heart with love- Roy Roden

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