As a youth, I felt like an orphan. It’s possible to have a home with parents and still feel abandoned and unwanted. My father was an alcoholic who slept during the day and drank at night. My mother, saddled with four children, was busy trying to make ends meet. We never had family time, played games, or went on outings. We never invited friends or relatives over for supper. However, I did have one close friend: nature. I loved hiking in the woods, fishing, sometimes stealing one of my neighbor’s chickens, and cooking it on coals at the nearby lake.

    Shortly after my father died, my mother remarried. One day I was walking with my stepfather when he looked down at me and said, “I am not your father, so don’t expect me to act like one.” Feeling abandoned and lost, my attempt to connect with someone failed.

    In 1968, I joined the Marine Corps. At the end of my tour in Vietnam, we were shipped back to the United States on an aircraft carrier. While departing from the ship, we were met with hostile protesters, who treated us like traitors instead of heroes. A week later, I was discharged by the Marine Corps. Homeless, I roamed like a vagabond.

   Then, at the age of 27, I received Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior. I was worshipping one Sunday when I saw my heavenly Father looking down from heaven, Who affectionately said, “Welcome home, son.” Words cannot describe the healing love I felt. Now a child of God, I realized I had always been wanted, but never knew it. Romans 8:15 tells us

   “But you have received the Spirit of adoption, whereby we cry 'Abba Father.'

     Now, a beloved son of my heavenly Father, the feeling of being at home with people still eluded me. I felt isolated even in a crowd. Unable to participate in the lighthearted mirth of a party, or join in the happiness expressed at a family reunion, I mostly kept to myself.

     People who have an “orphan spirit” have a hard time receiving love and believing they are loved. Time and time again, my heavenly Father tells me, “I am pleased with you.” His love has fathered me into wholeness. What my real father and stepfather failed or could not do, the love of my heavenly Father accomplished. It is written in Psalms 68:5 that “God is a Father of the fatherless...”

   Today, I am fortunate to marry a woman who socially fits in like a tailored glove. Observing how she related to people so easily and laughed freely, I have learned the value of close relationships. I thank God for her patience, which at times has addressed my “abrasive” behavior. Wives are often the Lord’s means of bringing correction to you.   

     Somewhere down the road, I returned to humanity. Today I actually like being with people! I love listening to people’s hearts, hearing their stories, exchanging ideas, and communicating with them. I especially cherish the evenings with my wife while enjoying “supper with a movie” together. Being with her at family events today is like a breath of fresh air. Truly, family and friends are a precious treasure, a gift from God, one which we should always take the time to be thankful for and cultivate.

    I have learned the value of friendship, the life- giving joy that comes with fellowship. I love playing mini golf with my ministry friends, as well as engaging in various other activities. Having life- giving connections with others provides a mooring for those of us that floated about like a balloon. Instead of running in fear, a love for ourselves and others provides an anchor that holds us steady, even in the midst of storms.

     This is my message. If you feel like an orphan, know that you are greatly loved and wanted. You have not been abandoned or forsaken. Through Christ Jesus, the pathway home was provided for you at Calvary. It doesn’t matter how far you have strayed, or what you may have done; your heavenly Father awaits your return. With great anticipation and open arms, He awaits to embrace you as His beloved child and fill you with His love (Luke 15:11-12).

In His heart with love, Roy Roden

Eastgate Ministries