Sunday Tidbit: The War Is Over

    In 1968, I joined the United States Marine Corps. As a patriot, I enlisted knowing I would be sent to Vietnam. After a grueling 12 weeks of boot camp, I arrived at an air base in Vietnam during the Tet Offensive. As soon as we arrived, I saw missiles raining down from the nearby mountains, many of them hitting the tents of those who had just arrived.

       Assigned to the 1st Division, 5th Marines, we were based in a remote village called An Hoa. I led a team of 11 men through the jungles and mountainous terrain. We spent our time searching for the Vietcong and the North Vietnamese Army. During the day, the Vietcong (VC) dressed as regular civilians. You would see them in the villages, but we were not allowed to engage them. At night, they wore black garments and crawled silently on their bellies, creeping up to our camp, hoping to find someone asleep in a foxhole. 

     This was intense psychological warfare. We seldom engaged the enemy “face to face” except when ambushed or when they assaulted our camp. Our casualties were mostly from rockets, booby traps, and hit-and-run attacks, after which they would disappear down a rabbit hole. Often, we faced snipers and mortars launched from hidden facilities deep in the jungle.

       When there were casualties, we did not have time to grieve, say goodbye, or see a counselor for emotional support. The bodies were immediately placed in black bags and helicoptered to the nearest Air Base for transport home. We trudged on, putting one foot in front of the other, doing what we were trained to do as soldiers—fight.  

     After walking point for 11 months, I became devoid of any feelings. My heart was cold as ice. I was so emotionally numb that I felt nothing. I was, in effect, “shell-shocked” by the exploding bombs and mortars, as well as traumatized by the war. 

     I returned from Vietnam a shell of the man I once was. Without any reintroduction to society, we received our discharge papers just three days after our return. I entered the Marine Corps with pride as a patriot, but I left angry and disillusioned, believing the Government had used me as a pawn in a war we could not win. As I walked back to the barracks, I removed my uniform, piece by piece, and stomped it into the ground. I then put on my civilian clothes and walked off the base, never to look back. 

    Even though my tour of duty in Vietnam was over, the memories remained. The stress, grief, and horrors of war were locked away somewhere inside. As many Veterans know, the symptoms may manifest as depression, flashbacks, nightmares, and severe anxiety. For some, these symptoms may be mild; for others, debilitating. 

     There is a tendency to isolate oneself from society. I could be in a crowd and not be fully present. It felt as if a part of me were somewhere else. No matter where I went, the feeling of isolation and loneliness remained. Relating to others was difficult. For many Vets, this state often leads to withdrawing from society and living in solitary confinement.

     In 1976, I received Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior. One day, while walking, the Lord said to me, “The War is Over.” Suddenly, my soul was at rest. I realized that although the threat had passed, my soul remained in a survival-mode fight-or-flight state. When the Lord spoke to me, He enabled my inner being to stop fighting. Finally, I felt peace, not only because the inner turmoil had ended but also because of the peace of Jesus Himself. That was the beginning of the healing process in Jesus Christ, who has brought wholeness to my life. 

     Thanks to my new life in Christ, I am stronger and more present than ever before. My heart, once dead and cold, is alive with the warmth of God’s love. I can once again foster and receive affection, laugh, and enjoy myself in the company of others. Because of my inner healing and restoration, I am a patriot who loves my country deeply. Today, as our heavenly Father’s son, I minister with His heart, empowered by His love. 

    Trauma is not selective. I want to encourage you: if you are suffering from trauma or grief due to life's tragedies, there is hope. Nothing is too great for God to heal. Although the memories may remain, you can recover and live a fruitful, prosperous life. 

       It is written that Jesus is familiar with our grief and sorrows and that by His stripes we are healed (Isaiah 53:3). Today, I can testify to God’s saving grace, His healing touch, and the power of His transforming love. What God has done for me, He can surely do for you. 

 In His heart with love,

                                       Roy Roden