news flash just in...” read all about it!”
It’s July, not April. No it isn’t April first. If it were April Fool’s Day, here what I would write…
News Flash! Just in…World News, Fox, MSNBC, U.S.A. Today, Rolling Stone Magazine, The Nation, Huffington Post, The Guardian, DEBKA (in Israeal), Aljazerra media network, National Enquirer, People Magazine, CNN, Der Spiegel (in Germany) and many, many others, have now reported on the latest news of interest:
President Trump, or rather ex-President Trump shall we say, has in his most recent tweet as of 2:00 a.m. Saturday morning July 21, 2018 has declared this:
‘It is with deep regret that I am letting you know that as of August 1, 2018… I will be resigning from my position as King of the U.S.A. oh, I meant to say…. President of the U.S.A. (where’s a good script writer when you need one?). This is my final decision. You cannot talk me out of it. I have made my mind up. The truth is that my son, Barron needs me right now to spend more time with him…. and his mother, the great love of my life, Melania.
Do not, I repeat, try to get me to change my mind on this…this is my final decision. I have given it much thought (4 minutes to be exact). My family comes first, as always, and so with a sorrowful heart, I will be leaving the White House in good hands with Vladimir Putin, to lead you and follow in my foot steps to lead onward to protect this great, great country. Thank you to all the people of the U.S.A. You have been terrific supporters of me, since the beginning.
Oh by the way, I have decided, and you cannot talk me out of this: I don’t want the taxpayers to pay for an impeachment process that is really not necessary. I have only done good for this great country and you all know it. This is a fact, yes, it’s true. I have been a great, great leader and I know you will be sad to hear this news from me, but I have to resign for love of my family. This is my final decision.