I last made lobster for Valentine’s Day 12 years ago. February 14, 2013. I bought a couple bugs from Graffam Brothers, and made dinner for my wife after the toddlers went to bed, following some recipe I had found online. The shells went in the trash, to be taken out in the morning.

A day later, I came across the garbage, after I had come home from Eastern Maine Medical Center, leaving my middle boy and wife there. February 15, 2013, among other things, will always be associated with lobster shells.

The morning after that Valentine’s meal, Cheryl Milner, our daycare provider, called to say that our son had a bad headache, and wasn’t eating. A mom of three herself, Cheryl's instincts told her something might be up.

It was Friday, and the forecast predicted snow, and my wife’s own maternal instincts caused her to come home from work and take him to the Waldo County Emergency Department, where I joined her. Cheryl unquestioningly offering to keep the other two for as long as was needed.

That brief period in the waiting room is also stuck in my head. I bought him a toy motorcycle from the gift shop, convincing myself that he just had some virus. There was something off about the boy, however, as we sat in the packed ED, full of people suffering the sicknesses of mid-winter. The doctor must have thought so too, as he ordered a Cat Scan, “just in case.” Following the scan, the head nurse briefly entered the exam room to drop off a box of tissues, before going to get the doctor.

That was the moment I knew something was seriously wrong with our three-year-old. The doctor told us that the scan revealed a mass in the back of his head, and that they needed to get him to a better equipped hospital as soon as possible. He had an inkling of what that mass in a toddler's head might mean.

I had to get air, quickly walking through the waiting room in barely held back tears, screaming into the falling snow in the parking lot.

Weather prevented a LifeFlight helicopter, but an ambulance north delivered him and his mom safely to Bangor, and a dose of steroids relieved the swelling in his brain, a MRI confirmed the tumor.

Boston Children’s for surgery, the mass was removed, but the cancer diagnosis was confirmed. Several series of high dose chemotherapy at Barbara Bush Children’s in Portland followed, with the boy soon sporting shiny bald head, and our family was divided between Lincolnville and the hospital in Portland.

The community rallied behind our little family, feeding us and supporting us, until that day in early November when he was released from the hospital for the last time.

The little boy has grown up, scars hidden beneath his long hair along with his hearing aids, reminders of the medicine that saved his life.

I have my own scars — one doesn’t simply walk away from parenting a kid with cancer unscathed. I get a little feisty about what I see as attacks on medical research. I remember those days when my son had no immune system, and I get grumpy about vaccine misinformation.

My son is now a normal teenager thanks to modern medicine. I challenge you to take a stroll through one of our old cemeteries, and notice all the graves before 1950 marking the resting places of children under five.

While recovering from chemotherapy, he received a visit from an old lady accompanied by photographers and a cute dog. She was the hospital’s namesake, Barbara Bush, who lost her own daughter to cancer in 1953. Little Robin Bush didn’t have the benefit of the life saving research which has allowed my son to thrive these last twelve years. May the research continue to bring even more breakthroughs, and more young lives saved.

And so, after 12 years, I picked up a couple lobsters from Graffam's, and made supper for my wife and I. The toddlers are now teenagers, and weren’t in bed, but they foraged for themselves, and generally left us alone as we dined on lobsters and steak. And February 15 went by without a hitch.

Select Board Workshop

At 6 p.m., at the town office, the Lincolnville Select Board will host a community workshop. The agenda incudes a discussion on community resilience with Meg Rasmussen and Reed Silvers from the Midcoast Council of Governments, followed by a conversation with the Harbor Committee about the Ferry Terminal Project. The Maine DOT will be replacing the ferry Margaret Chase Smith with a new hybrid diesel/electric ship, necessitating changes to the ferry wharfs in Lincolnville and Islesboro.

Library Happenings

Needlework group will gather Tuesday, February 18 from 3-5. Winter crafts for kids will be hosted from 3-5 on Wednesday, February 19. And do not forget to make an appointment with the library for AARP tax prep assistance. These are open to all and the next appointments will be March 1.

Historical Society Talk:

Thursday, February 20th, at 7 p.m., at the Lincolnville Historical Society, 33 Beach Road, Dr David Urquia will present the story of Lincolnville brothers Benjamin and Andrew Pottle, and their experience at The Battle of Malvern Hill during the Civil War. This talk is free, but donations are always appreciated!

I feel like this has been a winter that we have not had for a decade or more. Plenty of snow, freezing mornings, trucks parked next to the ice fishing shacks. Snowmobile and ski tracks crossing our fields.

Get out and enjoy it.

Be good and do good. Reach out to me at ceobrien246@gmail.com.

Municipal Calendar:

Monday, February 17

President’s Day, Town Office Closed

Select Board Workshop, 6 p.m. Town Office

Tuesday, February 18

Library open 3-6 p.m. 208 Main Street

AA Meeting 12:15 p.m., Community Building, 18 Searsmont Road

Wednesday, February 19

Comprehensive Plan Review, 6 p.m., Town Office

Friday, February 21

AA Meeting 12:15 p.m., Community Building, 18 Searsmont Road

Library open 9-12, 208 Main Street

Saturday, February 22

Library open 9-12, 208 Main Street

Sunday, February 23

United Christian Church, 9:30 a.m. Worship, 18 Searsmont Road

Bayshore Baptist Church, 9:30 a.m. Sunday School, 11:00 worship, 2648 Atlantic Highway