Haven’t heard from me in a while. Some people are probably cheering and others might have missed me. To tell you the truth, there’s not much to write about. I had a piece all ready to go about coming out of the COVID-19 thing, but went a little too far and my editor (God love her) suggested that might not be good. I rewrote the offending part, but still didn’t feel it. Then, the country imploded. So here I am. Depressed, like everyone else and who needs to be remined of that?
There have been some bright spots. The guy that fell over mowing his lawn with a battery-powered lawnmower, dropped his joint and set the field on fire was certainly a highlight.
That story raised a few questions for me. I wondered what a battery-powered lawnmower had to do with it, but I suppose they are quiet, and one could fall asleep and tip over easier using one of those rather than a gas powered rig.
I know I’m dating myself, but all I could see when reading this was Arte Johnson from Laugh In when he tipped over on the tricycle.
Another question I had was that the guy went into his house and after a while noticed his field was on fire. Apparently when he got up, he had no interest in finishing mowing the lawn, or possibly he was done. At any rate, he went back to the house only to discover his field on fire. Maine. The way life should be.
Getting back to things opening up, as people started to move around a whole new movement appeared: The coronavirus militia.
These folks are self-appointed guardians of the guidelines of the Governor. When guidelines are issued, they need to be followed and, let’s face it, the police can’t be everywhere, so the militia is calling 911 on suspicious folks who may not be 6 feet apart or perhaps more than 10 were in a group when the limit was 10 before it was 50, or someone wasn’t wearing a mask.
That’s where I was when I wrote that piece, but now we’ve just gone warp speed beyond that to the whole protest/looting, burning latest American pastime.
For some extremely complicated reasons that have not been openly dealt with for a long time. Black people in this country feel threatened by the police and the police feel threatened by black people in many neighborhoods and communities. Seems to me, that’s where our efforts should be focused instead of burning whole neighborhoods down, but what do I know? Rodney King asked in 1991, “Can’t we all just get along?” Apparently not.
Then there’s Jennie Stejna who got the coronavirus at 103 years old but decided that thing wasn’t going to get her. No sir. Twenty days, but she came out the winner on the other side and what did she do to celebrate? She had a cold Bud Light. How about that?
Of course, as soon as this news article broke, investigators were looking into Jennie’s history and background and anonymous sources say that unnamed informants believe that Jennie once fell over while mowing her lawn with a gas powered lawnmower while smoking a joint and set her field on fire, thereby questioning the fact that she actually did have the virus and actually did recover from it.
Sources say that she made the whole thing up just to get a Bud Light.
That’s pretty much all I’ve got right now. Who knows what tomorrow will bring.
Bill Packard lives in Union and is the founder of BPackard.com. He is a speaker, author, small business coach and consultant.