In life and in death, MaineHealth hospitals Pen Bay Medical Center (PBMC) and Maine Medical Center (MMC) offered faithful support on behalf of me and my late husband Bill.  

At this time of Thanksgiving, I would like to express my heartfelt gratitude, as a wife and as a chaplain. The care teams at PBMC and MMC supported, encouraged and embraced us in very uncertain times, and that meant everything.  

I am reminded of a quote shared by a friend shortly after my husband’s death earlier this year. “Grief and gratitude are kindred souls…each pointing to the beauty of what is transient and given to us by grace.” I have since learned that these are the words of writer and editor Patricia Campbell Carlson, and they help explain why, in this year of personal loss, my heart embraces gratitude.  

Since moving to Camden from the Boston area 11 years ago, my husband had three open heart surgeries. Two of the surgeries took place at MMC with Reed Quinn, MD, head of cardiothoracic surgery.  

The 2016 surgery was especially challenging because Bill developed endocarditis, an infection that caused significant damage to his heart valves. He endured over 13 hours of surgery and made it through, but there were complications over the next few years.  In early 2020 Bill developed aspiration pneumonia.  He died on March 9, three days before the first COVID patient was diagnosed in Maine.

When Bill came back from the 2016 surgery he was weak but determined. Every nurse and every physician pulled me aside and said, “Your husband has a depth of courage and quiet determination that is striking to me.  What can I do to support you, as his wife, because you’re an important part of his healing and his recovery?” One of the things that stands out for me is that the care teams at MMC and PBMC supported us as a family.

My grief for the loss of my husband of almost 27 years remains deep, and tender.  And yet healing grace “meets” me, day by day. Bill was a pastel painter and his spirituality is reflected in his creative depiction of Maine scenes — in particular the islands of Penobscot Bay. Signs and symbols of Creator God’s handiwork are in every painting, an offering of peace and hope.

And so despite this loss, I am filled with an equally deep gratitude for the beauty of Bill’s life, the richness of our marriage and for the compassionate care provided by so many at PBMC and MMC.

Bill died at age 68, with a full moon emerging. As I sat vigil alongside his bed at MMC, the Lenten moon spoke to us of the completion of a cycle. Our faith was strengthened to trust God’s never-failing love and care … then, and for all eternity.

Thank you all, and may God bless you during the sacred season that is upon us.

Rev. Abby Pettee serves as Chaplain at Pen Bay Medical Center