Over the last few days, in reading about issues Graham Platner brought to the first couple of years of his marriage, something felt immediately familiar to me — something I’ve experienced and witnessed in hundreds of others.

I spent years in a rigorous 12-step program, and what I encountered in “the rooms” — as we in recovery call them — humbled and inspired me. Doctors, lawyers, executives, community leaders, public servants: high-achieving, compassionate, hard-working people doing exceptional work in the world, who had made mistakes in their personal lives — not because they lacked judgment or character, but because they were struggling with powerful compulsions that we call addiction. And here they were quietly doing the hard work that recovery demands. I was one of them. I held a senior position in a large organization while my personal life was in chaos. Recovery brought those two halves of my life into alignment, and I emerged a more grounded, honest, and genuinely happier person.

One of the pillars of 12-step culture is anonymity — not out of shame, but out of wisdom. People tell the full truth only when they trust they'll be heard without judgment — loved by others until they can love themselves. That sacred trust is what makes recovery work.

What happened to Graham Platner and his wife follows a pattern I recognize. Private confidences were violated and weaponized for political purposes — a profound disregard for one of the most courageous things a person can do. But what strikes me more is what those confidences revealed: that Graham and Amy have been doing the work. By Amy Gertner’s own account, they have been working every day on their mental health and their marriage with professional counselors. That is not a scandal. That is integrity. 

I trust and admire a person willing to work on their mental health and relationships. I do not trust a person willing to exploit it.

Personal growth is not a disqualification from public life. For many of us, it is precisely what made us worthy of it. 

Valerie Tate lives in Belfast