ROCKLAND - For one day only, Tuesday, October 2, New Hope for Women's “Empty Place at the Table” memorial was at the Rockland Public Library. Empty Place at the Table is a memorial that New Hope for Women erects each October during Domestic Violence Awareness Month.

It's a memorial for victims of domestic violence homicides.

"There are real items at the table that the victim's families have donated," Jesse Lucas of New Hope for Women said. "It represents an empty place at the table that will never be filled again because these people have been taken away by their loved ones."

The settings are representative of the number of homicides that have taken place..

"We have one setting that's the unnamed victim," said Lucas. "It represents everyone and the other five are victims that have been in our attachment area which is Waldo, Knox, Lincoln or Sagadahoc Counties."

From the year 1990 to the year 2017 there have been 287 victims of domestic homicide in Maine. 21.6% of those victims were male.

Lucas has been associated with New Hope for a little over a year and a half. And has held the position of Community Advocate for about four months.

An advocate works with survivors and victims of domestic violence who are either right out of a relationship or still in a relationship.

"I help victims deal work through their feelings, get protection for abuse orders, restraining orders," Lucas said. "We work with them on safety planning and help get them into a safer situation."

Lucas also does community based trainings and presentations.

Over the last few years the awareness of domestic violence has dramatically increased with the public, law enforcement and available help.

Lucas said it is still a problem.

"We get people in every day requesting help. It's not an easy job. I've definitely developed some thick skin working here, but knowing what I'm doing is making a difference makes it worth it."

Lucas said her heart goes out to people in this situation, but she stays focused on the job at hand and to get them help for their situation.

In 2017, New Hope reached 1,330 clients and provided 4,006 hours of service, 406 of which were for legal services. Their volunteers provided 4,747 hours of hotline coverage.

Lucas began with New Hope as a volunteer working the hotline overnight. She interned with New Hope her last semester of school at USM.

"I graduated with a degree in women and gender studies," she said. "It was perfect timing because when I graduated this job became available and I got it."

Lucas said that all domestic violence, whether it gets to the point of physical abuse or not is emotional abuse.

"We have many clients who say they would rather take the physical abuse over the emotional abuse any day," she said. "It comes in the form of gaslighting, putting people down, controlling behaviors and isolation."

Gaslighting is also known as “crazy making.” 

"Doing something and then saying they didn't do it," said Lucas, "that they must have imagined it. Moving thing and saying they didn't move them, things that make them feel like they are not right in their own minds."

Much of he table is made up of things that have donated by the victims family. Items that the family hope will let us try to see who that person was.

"For example," said Lucas. "Kim's place setting has a number of crystals and stones. Eva, the baby," we have her headbands and imprints of her hands and foot to show how young she was. One place setting has a Kiss CD to just show how fun loving they were."

Lucas said domestic violence does not discriminate.

"It's all across the board," she said. "It knows no age boundaries, gender boundaries or race boundaries."

For more information on New Hope for Women or how you can help visit New Hope for Women online at http://www.newhopeforwomen.org/

The schedule for the traveling Empty Place at the Table memorial is as follows: 

10/4/18- Camden Public Library 9 a.m. to 5 p.m. 

10/9/18- Belfast Library, 10/16/18, 9:30 a.m. to 5 p.m. 

10/17/18 - Richmond Library, 2 p.m. to 8 p.m. 

10/18/18- Damariscotta Library, 9 a.m. to 5 p.m. 

10/19/18- Waldoboro Library, 10 a.m. to 5 p.m. 

10/23/18- Bath Library, 10 a.m. to 5 p.m. 

10/25/18 -Topsham Library, 9 a.m. to 5 p.m.