One of the best kept secrets of aging is how it relates to Christmas. Or, to be blunt, how we old ones get to opt out of the Christmas frenzy. And to be blunter, how old women, specifically, get a pass.

And a rest.

I’m referring to mothers here, though aunts, cousins and friends of the harried mom are just as likely to jump in and help her out with cookies and presents and long journeys to be there on Christmas morning. Just because they have no little ones in their own nest doesn’t mean they don’t feel the pull to “do Christmas”.

To be fair, I ran this thought by the man in my life (though not the man I shared nearly 50 Christmases and most of my life with – that man really gets a pass), and he pointed out that was rubbish. That might have been the way my family worked, but not everyone’s. Not his.

It probably wasn’t even the way mine worked. It’s just the way I saw it, in that mother-as-martyr guise I often wore. And the martyr mom seems to be the one who just can’t let go of all the Christmas window dressing.

Christmas is the big show parents put on for their kids, but once the kids outgrow it, the “family traditions” are so well entrenched we carry them on for years.

Black Friday. The presents hidden all over the house. The Advent calendar. Elf on the shelf.  The elaborate wrapping. The pile of presents under the tree. The treasured ornaments. The fruitcake or stollen or cookies. The Christmas Eve and morning rituals. The stockings. The endless rich and delicious meals.

But, as my friend-who-lives-down-the-road pointed out, who puts up the outside lights, the blow-up elves and grinches, the Santa on the roof? Who cuts down the tree and loads it on the car and makes it stand up in the living room? Who spends agonizing hours looking for the perfect sweater or purse or jacket for his wife, consulting with store clerks – “do you think she’ll like this?”

He’s right. Mom doesn’t do it all, unless of course, there’s only Dad or only Mom, then Christmas is truly a one man/woman show. Here’s where those aunties, uncles, cousins and friends can round out a family. 

My three were great gangly teenagers, sprouting whiskers and who knows what else, when every Christmas morning they still piled up together at the top of the stairs just as they did as toddlers, wrestling with each other to be first down to see if Santa really came.

Meanwhile, their dad and I lingered with the morning chores, milking the cow, building the fires, making the coffee, ramping up the excitement. When Wally finally gave the okay, they tumbled down the stairs, for the traditional rush for the stockings in the front room and the Christmas morning mayhem ensued.

Since three of my grandchildren are growing up in the same house as their dad, we’ve continued the top-of-the-stairs bedlam to the delight of all, adults included.

But as I’ve said, the old woman in the household has stepped back, happy to watch, fondling the old ornaments as she hangs them on her tree, making her fruitcake, remembering all the Christmases past.

What if it happened here?

Friday afternoon I took a couple of grandkids to Camden to do errands with me – Walgreen’s for a string of lights, the new yarn shop (or rather the Cashmere Goat’s new location on Mechanic Street) for needles, Rockport Blueprint for origami paper, French and Brawn’s for milk. We parked and walked from shop to shop. Ditto yesterday when I needed a couple of things in Belfast – a sponge mop at Home Supply, a ball of bright pink yarn for a child’s Christmas hat at Heavenly Yarns.

But between those two trips-to-town the tornados had happened, and my brain was full of images: flattened downtowns, sturdy brick buildings dismantled, a collapsed factory, the rubble of several churches. What a loss for the people who call Mayfield, Kentucky home!

And then I imagined our own Main Streets flattened. What does that do to a community, to have its heart and soul destroyed in minutes? “It’s not the buildings, not the stuff,” say the survivors, part of the endless loop of dreadful news that played all week-end on the cable channels, “it’s the people.”

Of course, it’s the people, singing carols in the street, in front of the rubble that a day ago had been their beloved church. But people build the factories and shops, churches and schools and give them life. Those buildings are the grid that support our lives.

Take a walk down Main Street this week if you have a few moments. Go after sunset, take the kids, (country kids that they are!) to see the lights and wander through the shops. Don’t forget to point out the star on Mt. Battie, lit every night of December.

We live smack between two of the best Main Streets. Camden and Belfast – think how lucky we are to have them.

School

The Lynx the LCS newsletter, keeps us all informed on doings at the school: special class projects, sports (boys and girls basketball this season), school committee doings, and how the school is dealing with the pandemic.

LCS is now ready to begin pool testing for Covid. This optional test is done weekly with students swabbing themselves. The swabs from a group are then tested together; if the result is negative, then all the participants are considered negative. If positive, then each individual is tested; parents will only be notified of a positive test. Read more about this on this week’s Lynx.

Re-doing an Old Schoolhouse

The committee in charge of renovating the 1851 Beach schoolhouse (AKA the L’ville Historical Society/Schoolhouse Museum, L’ville Improvement Association/LIA) is a diverse group: Brian and Lee Cronin, Rosey Gerry, Jane Hardy, Kendal Kennedy, Chris Leary, Diane O’Brien, Pat Shannon, Cyrene Slegona, Niel Wienges, and Andy Young. We meet regularly to check on progress (the steel beams supporting the second floor are in place, the fire escape is being renovated, and the west wall has been stripped of clapboards), make decisions (wood or vinyl siding, a lighting plan for the first floor dining room), and to add up donations.

Thanks to the generosity of so many in Lincolnville, both full-time and seasonal, our coffers are growing. We’ve set a goal of $325,000 to complete the project and give us a reserve fund for future maintenance. This is half the amount that the town determined was needed. And as of now we’re nearly halfway to our goal.

The L’ville Historical Society is a 501c3 non-profit entity, which means donations between now and Dec. 31 are tax deductible on this year’s taxes. By the way, our tax number is 22-3263511. To help us reach our goal send a check made out to Lincolnville Historical Society to LHS, PO Box 204, L’ville, 04849 or donate online.

Stained Glass and Christmas Dinner

Have you noticed the stained glass medallions in the windows of the Library? They’re the work of Janet Redfield, another of Lincolnville’s many artists. Contact her (email  or call 763-4465) to visit her Moody Mountain studio and see what she has for gifts.

Janis Kay at the Red Cottage in the Center has a new batch of wooden Lincolnville truck ornaments. The first 50 were gone in a couple of days! Proceeds from these benefit the Beach Schoolhouse Project.

And between the General Store and Dolce Vita Farm (323-1052) there’s no need to cook Christmas dinner. Check them out for their menus.

Condolences

Sympathy to Leroy Underhill’s family and friends on his passing last week. Many remember his Christmas tree farm on Belfast Road.