I have been a neglectful nephew. My aunt, Pat O’Brien Shaw, lives just an hour up the road and I had not visited her in years. It is far too easy to loose track of family, especially as everyone grows older, and the people who connected us pass on.

My father was the baby of five, and the one who seemed to be able to get along with everyone. As a child, we frequently piled into the car on Sunday morning and headed up to Augusta, where the bulk of his family lived.

My dad’s preferred radio station for these drives was one which played country “oldies”- no offense to country music fans, but the hits of the 1960s and 1970s boasted some real stinkers. For every Meryl Haggard or Johnny Cash of Loretta Lynn, there were a dozen “one hit wonders”- sappy, saccharine, and frequently misogynistic enough to raise a protest from my mother, to the delight of the three boys in the back.

We would visit my grandmother, bring her take out KFC or to Bonanza, have dinners with my Uncle Curt and Aunt Merrilee (jello salad was always on the table), catch up on all the family gossip with Aunt Pat.

My brothers and I were also the babies of the cousins, all my first cousins are much older. I remember being very much impressed by them, these young men and women who were my family. We were doted on.

We all grew up. Family still visited, the house at Sleepy Hollow has always been a kind of Switzerland, neutral territory, where all the extended relations felt welcome, and generally got along. My Aunt June would come up from Massachusetts. Aunt Edwena was a yearly summer visitor, toting a cooler full of New Jersey peaches and tomatoes. Various cousins would show up, and sometimes stay awhile, if they were going through a difficult time.

And people passed on, as they do. My grandmother, June, Curt, Merrillee. Cousins Gary, Sharon, Curtie, and Bill. My dad.

My Aunt Pat just turned 93. She was born at home in Augusta, the third child of John O’Brien and Mabel Woodward. She was clear to point out that she was Mabel’s fourth — Mildred had died as a toddler, the phantom child who the other five were frequently reminded of.

My grandmother could be a challenging person, the product of hardship. After she and her husband John O’Brien, a veteran of World War I, divorced, the older two, June and Curt, stayed with John, while Pat and baby Edwena stayed with Mabel.  A few years later, my dad came along, the son of another World War I veteran, Wallace Case.

Good man that he was, John O’Brien went down to the hospital to claim paternity of his ex-wife’s son, not wanting my dad to carry the stigma of being illegitimate. 

Seven years older, Pat was often the primary caregiver for her younger siblings, making sure the apartment was clean, the younger kids were fed. I think about how this shaped my dad, being largely raised by his two older sisters, Pat and Edwena. Given the man he became, clearly it was not a detriment.

I visited Pat at her tidy apartment at the Hodgkin School, the former junior high where Pat’s daughter Julie graduated the eighth grade. It really is a lovely place, and perfect for someone like my aunt, who loves to be around people.

We sat at her table, and she shared stories of her life, of her children and grandchildren and great grandchildren. Pat is a veteran, a WAF, enlisting in the Air Force during a massive snowstorm in February 1952. She is a talker, she is loud, she is, in her words, a scolder. She embodies the stereotype of a strong Maine woman. She has no patience for bullies, she loves people.

She is a woman of strong faith, and she starts each day reading from the Bible, which sat in the center of the table, next to a picture of her oldest son Bill, who was taken too soon. We chatted about the state of the world and country, and how difficult it is for her to find love in her heart for certain political figures, in spite of the Biblical teachings. Again, Pat does not like bullies.

Pat reads the Kennebec Journal every day, print version. She loves obituaries, clipping those that tell the story of a life well lived- the man who always stopped to talk with strangers while walking, the young person who did such good in a short time — so that she can read them again.

She spoke to me about her many years working in mental health, largely at the old AMHI, and her affection for her clients. When my father, 25 years ago, suggested I pursue a career in social work, he cited my similarity to my Aunt Pat.

We talked about her long life, and why she believes she is still here. Listening to her tell me about all her neighbors, and the clear love she has for them, my agnostic self can’t help but believe she still has good work to do in this world.

“We need to take care of each other, Eddie,” she said to me.

Heading back to Lincolnville down Route 17, I pulled into Jackson’s Corner Store in Washington. As I got out of the car, I noticed twp massive couch-sized bundles of scrap lumber in the middle of the intersection, which apparently had slid off the back of someone’s trailer as they pulled onto 17 a little too quick.

The gentleman in the pickup next to me said, “well, we should probably do something about this.”

A third young man, tattoos down his sleeves and up his neck, also jumped out of his car, and the three of us wrapped straps around the lumber and hooked them to the pickup’s hitch and spent the next half hour getting the wood onto the snowbanks and out of the middle of the road.

Because we need to take care of each other. 

And I need to visit my Aunt Pat more often.

LCS Happenings

Don't forget the LCS PTO clothing swap this Thursday, Friday, and Saturday. I do not miss those days when my kids were growing out of clothes and shoes every other week. The PTO will also be accepting donations for their first ever used book sale, Contact the PTO at pto.lincolnvillecentralschool@gmail.com.

Thursday afternoon, during parent teacher conferences, the eighth grade will be holding a pie sale, to raise money for their class trip to Quebec. They tend to go fast!

Nomination Papers

Time to take out your nomination papers for Lincolnville elected positions. There is one opening on the Select Board for a three year term, one on the Five Town CSD School Board for a three year term, one on the Lincolnville Central School Committee for three year term, and on the Budget Committee, three three year term positions, and one with a two year term.

To qualify to appear on the local ballot, get your nomination paperwork from the town office and collect no less that 25 and no more than 100 signatures from town residents. Be part of the town business! As a Budget Committee member for longer than I remember, it really is the best way to understand where your local tax dollars are being spent.

Enjoy the extended daylight in the evenings, reach out at ceobrien246@gmail.com.

Municipal Calendar

Monday, March 10

Land Use Committee, 4 p.m. Town Office

Recreation Commission, 6 p.m. Town Office

Select Board Meeting, 6 p.m. Town Office

Tuesday, March 11

Library open 3-6 p.m. 208 Main Street

AA Meeting 12:15 p.m., Community Building, 18 Searsmont Road

Friday, March 14

AA Meeting 12:15 p.m., Community Building, 18 Searsmont Road

Library open 9-12, 208 Main Street

Saturday, March 15

Library open 9-12, 208 Main Street

Sunday, March 16

United Christian Church, 9:30 a.m. Worship and Children’s Church, 18 Searsmont Road

Bayshore Baptist Church, 9:30 a.m. Sunday School, 11:00 worship, 2648 Atlantic Highway