Newlyweds, and this time it's official








BELFAST - Gabrielle Eiholzer and Opal Ash were about to relax after a round of photos in the Council chambers at City Hall, when a woman's voice could be heard urging them to stay for a few more shots. "I assume you're only doing this once," she said.
It was a boilerplate marriage joke (i.e. don't get divorced), and appropriately so.
Several minutes later Eiholzer and Ash would become the first same-sex couple to be legally married in Belfast. But in the two-steps-forward-one-step-back history of marriage rights for gay and lesbian couples, this wasn't their first trip down the aisle and it might not be their last.
Two years earlier, they'd held a private "commitment ceremony" that had all the trappings of a traditional wedding — "Her father walked her down the aisle," Eiholzer said about Ash, who on Monday wore a simple white dress to Eiholzer's white pants, shirtsleeves and rainbow tie — but the event had no legal significance.
If federal law ever allows for same-sex marriages, Eiholzer said, she and Ash would do it all one more time in Washington.
The marriage ceremony on Monday in Belfast, however, was the real deal.
Maine voters approved same-sex marriage on November 6, 2012, becoming — along with Maryland and Washington, which passed legislation on the same day — one of the first three states to legalize same-sex marriage by popular vote.
Six additional states — Connecticut, Iowa, Massachusetts, New Hampshire, New York and Vermont — and the District of Columbia currently have same-sex marriage laws that were passed by lawmakers.
A much larger number of states either do not recognize same-sex marriages or have passed laws that explicitly prohibit them. But the participants in Monday's wedding ceremony spoke of the longterm prospects for gay marriage rights as a kind of thrilling inevitability.
"I never thought I'd see this in my lifetime," Eiholzer said, ticking off a list of coded terms — special friend, partner, commitment ceremony — that she and other same-sex couples in Maine could finally put to rest.
The importance of the moment clicked for her, she said, when she thought of a column that used to run in The Republican Journal featuring old stories from the newspaper's archives. She imagined a photo of her wedding running in a similar column 25 years from now.
"History is made by the first-timers," she said.
On Dec. 29, 2012, the first day that Maine municipalities could issue marriage licenses to same-sex couples, Belfast officials held special Saturday hours.
Eiholzer and Ash arrived a half-hour before the doors opened that day, but they didn't get married right away. Instead they waited for some auspicious numerological factors to align.
The numbers 36 and 63 have appeared at key times in Eiholzer's life — her mother was born in 1936 and gave birth to Eiholzer in 1963 at age 36, and so on. The sun was scheduled to rise at 6:36 on Feb. 25, so they chose that day and picked a time of 10:36 a.m. for the ceremony.
After the vows, the newlyweds slipped on T-shirts made by Ash for the occasion. On the front, the shirts read "Just LEGALLY Married," and on the back "City Hall, Belfast, Maine 04915."
The latter, Eiholzer explained, was a kind of advertisement they planned to bring with them to the LGBT pride parade in New York City in June.
"Maine doesn't have the most progressive reputation, but this changes everything," she said. "You can't even get married in California. The heck with California, come to Maine."
Eiholzer has other reasons dish on California. Aside from Proposition 8, which rolled back gay marriage rights, it was in The Golden State that her last major relationship ended in heartbreak. Shortly after, in 2004, she moved to Maine and resigned herself to being single for the rest of her life.
"It's hard to meet people in a small area like Belfast," she said.
Eiholzer was working at Hannaford supermarket when after a period of what she jokingly referred to as being "stalked," she was approached by a fellow employee, Ash.
"I saw she was on break, and I told her I was openly gay," Ash said.
Eiholzer replied that she herself was "as queer as a three dollar bill."
The relationship took some time to solidify according to the women, but eight years later they were taking oaths and exchanging rings in a marriage that will be recognized in their home state at the very least.
The ceremony was officiated by Deb Gautesen and attended by Ash's parents, along with several friends and city officials.
Speaking afterward, Eiholzer reflected on the moment.
"It's only going to be a matter of time before a gay kid doesn't have to come out to her parents. It's just going to be what it is," she said. "The word 'gay' is going to go back to meaning 'happy'."
Ethan Andrews can be reached at news@penbaypilot.com
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