You know that scene in Being John Malkovich when John Cusack falls down the strange portal only to emerge viewing the world through someone else’s eyes? That’s what these Rad Kids columns usually end up being about; a small shift in perception through one teen's eyes.
Zhanna (pronounced Johnna) Kurbanova, 18, goes to Camden Hills Regional High School… though she doesn’t have to. In her country, Turkmenistan (bordered by Iran, Afghanistan and Uzbekistan), teens graduate high school at age 16. After that, the girls usually go on to be wives and homemakers. Some go to college. Some even work, but in a country with nearly 50 percent unemployment, not many.
Two years ago, after Zhanna graduated from her own high school, she could have gone one of those directions. But she wanted more than anything to come study in the United States, so she applied to her country’s Future Leaders Exchange (FLEX) program. Out of 3,000 applicants, Zhanna was one out of 15 students who won the opportunity to be ambassadors of their country in the U.S. Applicants were judged on the basis of their ability to speak English, be well adjusted, mature, responsible, flexible, and unique. Check, check, check. The rules stipulated more study and 50 hours of community service. Because of her age, Zhanna could have tried to go to college here, but she wanted to strengthen her English and history skills. So back to high school it was: this time as an 18-year-old in a New England school district.
Perspective shift No. 1: If you graduated high school, would you go to another country and go back all over again? It’s a little like time travel. Think about it.
She first lived with a host family in Dexter, but found the area a little too remote, and soon moved to the Midcoast to live with host family Lynda Clancy and Jim Dill for the school year.
“This has been my dream since I was 10 to come to America,” she said in her low, Russian accent. “It was my father’s dream to come here and he told me I fulfilled his dream, too.”
When she speaks, (and she’s very articulate given her 10 months here) Zhanna lets loose a tumble of exuberant exclamations. For her, being able to wear what she wants, having access to the Internet, being able to buy kettle potato chips with her own money, is like winning the lottery. Being able to go back to school and take several honors classes, including history, French, biology, algebra, debate and jewelry, makes her feel like the luckiest girl in the world.
Perspective shift No. 2: When’s the last time you got excited about kettle potato chips or the Internet ...or algebra? Right?
The first time she came to Maine and saw how high school kids were allowed to dress, she thought: Freedom.
“In our high school, it’s mandatory to wear a uniform. A long green dress, the color of our flag,” she said. “Here, you get up in the morning and put on the first clothes you see - that was new for me.”
She wears what typical Maine kids wear, sweatshirts and jeans, nothing too revealing.
“I was a little shocked to see girls wearing yoga pants though, because I wouldn’t be allowed to wear that in my country.”
Another difference is the way adults and students interact at school.
“In my other school, teachers want you to show discipline first, then be a good student second. Here, in the U.S. you can be friends with teachers. In my country, the teachers are superior. They’re friendly, but they hardly talk to you the way they do here, more casually.”
Zhanna describes her country as independent but neutral, politically.
“We used to be part of Russia, but the majority of people are Turkmans and Muslims, but really modern. In a traditional Turkman family, the father is the head of the household in all matters and the mother takes care of the children. Women are allowed to work but in traditional households, but not in public places. Usually women become teachers. If they’re really modern, they go to work in Russia or London.”
Her mother, a Russian, married her father, a traditional Turkman, and she is their only child.
“It’s been a fusion of two cultures," she said. "Growing up learning two languages, with two religions (Christian and Islam) and two cultures, I'm trying to find out who I am in the middle. The most important thing is that my mom and dad want me to be happy and have a good job. My mom has always encouraged me since I was young and I feel it’s really important to tell your kids that they’re smart and can do things.”
As all U.S. teens know, it’s not cool to be too enthusiastic. Layer that with the Yankee mentality of “give me some time to get to know you first” and it's easy to understand why Zhanna is still learning to navigate how kids relate to one another here.
“In my country, it is really closed, so you wouldn’t have a foreign exchange student. But if we did, everyone would be really, really interested about that person and want to get to know them. Here, students are not really interested. At first, I took it personally. Then I realized, they’re afraid. They’re shy. Then I started to talk to them first and I got a better reaction.”
Perspective No. 3: What kind of guts does it take to be a new kid in school? A new kid who doesn’t know the customs and cultures and who, like all teens, would just like to fit in? Could you do it?
She says she has made a few U.S. friends as well as other exchange students.
“My role here is a little different, than just a student," she said. “I have to submit weekly and monthly reports on everything from my grades to my community service work to project report.”
When she’s not studying or volunteering, she loves playing tennis and belly dancing.
“In Turkmenistan, you cannot show your belly. I’ll tell you a little story. In my school, when I was 13, I had friends who were dancers and did these dances for certain holidays. I think it was for Women’s Day, we were doing a Latin belly dance, and my principal, a female, when she saw our dance, she started to hate me. She didn’t want us to show our bodies. She (held that grudge) until I graduated.”
The principal’s assumption was that Zhanna was wanton. “Here, it is a big opportunity to express myself through dance. I’m really thankful for that.”
Zhanna graduates with the rest of the Class of 2013 in June and will go back home after that.
“I’ve been thinking about this for a long time,” she said. “I could go to Russia and study or I could stay in my country and do more community service for my people. We don’t have a really good education system in Turkmenistan and English is so hard to learn. I could work with the FLEX program and help others.”
Or she could follow another dream, one that wouldn’t be necessarily welcome in her country.
“I was thinking about opening a yoga studio and teaching belly dance,” she said. I might get some problems for that, but I’m a person who strives for freedom.” Eventually, she’d like to make her way back to New England and go to college to study science, business, entrepreneurship, or psychology.
Asked what she’ll miss the most, she sighed, “The Internet.”
“Oh and the food. I love Japanese, Chinese and Thai food. I’m going to bring some things back for my family. I really want my father to try bacon,” she said, laughing. “But he wouldn’t eat it because Muslims don’t eat pork.”
As for herself, another sigh. She’s going to miss those kettle-cooked potato chips.
Hail To The Rad Kids is a feature highlighting teens with artistic or musical talent. Or just plain have something to say. Another venue that highlights teens in our community is Sound Off, a monthly feature sponsored by Five Town Communities That Care to publicly recognize the contributions that middle and high school teens are making in our community.
Kay Stephens can be reached at news@penbaypilot
