I initially discovered Lauren Merritt’s exceptional drawings at Center for Contemporary Maine Art last May, when I stumbled upon a black sketchbook perched atop a podium. That alone struck me as weirdly incongruous — a sketchbook is as personal and private to an artist as a diary is to a writer.  And here it was out on public display.

Flipping through the pages, I couldn’t believe I was looking at a 17-year-old’s work. The incredible lifelike detail done in graphite pencil was impressive enough, but it was the context of his work that got me. This was dark stuff, deeply personal and very advanced.

In person, Lauren, now 18 and a junior at Camden Hills Regional High School, is just as private as his sketchbook, but in the same way that book was perched on the podium, he’s committed to putting himself out there and be a more open person. 

'Nowadays, everyone is stuck in media, what’s happening, what’s now? They derive their happiness off other people and I’m trying to find an inner state where I’m more accepting.'

In one of his self-portraits, which happens to be the lead photo of this article, Lauren sees his own reflection in his iPod, while doodling in his notebook. It reminds me of the famous Norman Rockwell self-portrait, the one with the cigar in his mouth, but a teenage self-portrait has all of the high school details forgotten in adult art like the Algebraic formulas, the presence of an iPod, a random doodle of a squid sitting on top of a hot air balloon because… well, just because. It doesn’t have to make sense.

The whimsical part of his paintings and drawings, like dragons and a gnarled, heavily rooted tree contrasts the stark political subject matter that he has chosen to portray this past year, such as war, weapons, historical violence and the loss of innocence.

His drawing of an American soldier holding a knife to a young Vietnamese man in his 20s is riveting.  

“We watched some videos in history class about Buddhist Monks that set themselves on fire and it was videotaped for the news cast,” said Lauren. “I guess that struck me how in our current wars, news stations don’t show that kind of video footage anymore, because it strikes people too hard. So, I ended up finding this photo offline and I really wanted to draw this Vietnamese civilian — he wasn't even a soldier — as he’s looking up at this American soldier in fear. And you can see he was tied up to another captive. We don’t know if the soldier was threatening him or if he killed the Vietnamese man. It gets you kind of thinking and wondering why we even treated these people this way. I was really trying to focus on the emotion in his face — the fear.  It’s just crazy that someone took a picture of this moment. It’s just inspiring to draw this and reflect on our past.”

A series of these drawings served as reflections about a world outside of Camden he was beginning to discover. This next drawing, which goes with the first one is titled:  Money is the real weapon of mass destruction. It’s an atomic bomb covered in paper money.

“I just wanted to just to show how so much money is put into the military and how much our U.S. Government uses it as power,” he said." The intent, along with the money, is really what inspired that drawing.”

The next one is titled: One in the Chamber. What you don’t clearly see, because the drawing isn’t finished are the words at the bottom, which read: “You've got to remember who is control of the gun.”

He drew this in tandem with the atomic bomb drawing last year as well.

“I guess it continues the theme of the military in what people can purchase today and what people actually do with the weapons." he said. " There are obviously black markets for weapons that the U.S. government has sold other countries. It can be sort of viewed as another political statement, in that our government is in control of all of these weapons.”

Given that guns are currently being purchased in record numbers more now than ever since the Sandy Hook shootings (and subsequent threat of a weapons ban),  it was only natural to ask if Lauren felt this particular drawing had become even more politically relevant. But he hesitated to come up with a definitive answer to the question: did he believe in gun control? Did he think mental illness was the larger issue?

“That’s a hard line to cross," he said. "It really depends. One, we do have a lot of guns that are unnecessary and unneeded, for example, for hunting. People can really take advantage of buying the semi-automatic weapon. But on the other hand, it’s really hard to control [the number of guns in this country].”

His own experience with weapons provides the background to his realistic drawings. He had experience hunting with his dad when he was younger and Skeet shooting. He used all different kinds of shotguns, but lost his taste for it.

“They’re very dangerous and you’ve got to be very careful,” he said.

The consistent impression I get with Lauren is that he doesn’t think he has all the answers; he’s working on trying to discover answers for himself. Having grown up with divorced and remarried parents, half-siblings and having transferred from Rockland into CHRHS in the middle of last year, he is still trying to fit into a system where students have all grown up with one another in the same communities.

“When I lived in Rockland, everyone knew each other since the fourth grade," he said. "When I came to Camden, I knew a few people, but not very well.”

He sometimes struggles between making the effort to be social and welcoming to people and finding the alone time that he needs to stay balanced.

“There are some really friendly people at school, and I do like hanging around them, as long as I can still get away by myself,” he said. “I’m still learning about myself, so for me to be really happy, I need to be in a state of peace. But the bad thing about that is, you still have school, and work and other responsibilities. I was in this state of peace for a couple of days and I was happy, nothing bothered me, but I forgot about my homework for a couple of days. I caught back up to it, but you get out of that state and you’re not really happy anymore. It’s just hard to develop that inner peace and balance all the stuff that’s in your real life.”

One of the most telling questions you can ask a young artist is: “What’s your motivation for wanting to do art at all? Do you feel it’s not worth doing unless someone sees it, praises it, purchases it?"

“I just want to try and finish the idea from start to finish,” he answered. “I just want to see the end result. It’s mentally straining, because I’m always hovering over it, working on the details. A lot of times I just zone out until it’s finished and if I don’t finish it in a day, I don’t feel I’ve accomplished anything."

His cousin introduced him to meditation and yoga and initially skeptical, he admitted he’s tried to develop more of an open-minded view.

"I used to listen to music when I drew but recently, I’ve been going into mediation, silence," he said. "Reflecting on myself instead of everyone else."

“Nowadays, everyone is stuck in media, what’s happening, what’s now?" he continued. "They derive their happiness off other people and I’m trying to find an inner state where I’m more accepting. You judge people subconsciously. It’s really hard to do if you’ve been taught that for years. And people focus on their happiness being what they do for their jobs, or all this stuff. People don’t survive on that in other countries; they depend on each other.  it’s interesting to study ancient cultures so I guess I’m going to try and figure a way to bring that into my new art.

So this all comes around to the initial question, “What motivates you to draw?” For Lauren, an-hour-and-a-half roundabout conversation in Camden Deli over a cup of coffee boils down to this: He draws because sometimes it is the only space in his life where he can find that inner calm and peace that eludes him in his everyday life.

Best answer I’ve ever heard from an 18-year-old.

Hail To The Rad Kids is a feature that highlights teens with artistic or musical talent.  Another place to check out Lauren's work, along with other teens, is Sound Off, a monthly feature sponsored by Five Town Communities That Care to publicly recognize the contributions that middle and high school teens are making in our community.

Kay Stephens can be reached at news@penbaypilot.com