Dizzy head. Pounding heart. Shaking limbs. Sweating body. Shallow breathing. Queasy stomach. These symptoms hold people back from what they really want — SUCCESS. Public speakers of all levels will resonate with the concise methods found in "From Fear to Success," an easy-to-read guide to overcome anxiety and relate to any audience on their journey to find their communication confidence.

45. Appreciate the Audience's Diversity and Differences (Audio of this chapter is available here.)

As previously stated, your whole presentation should be geared towards an audience's interests and needs. Have you asked yourself and the organizer the right questions to ensure that you respect and value the full makeup of the audience? Diversity can relate to some of the more common topics such as race, gender, ethnicity, and age, as well as socio-economic status, educational levels, differing opinions, and different levels of knowledge on certain subjects. All of these differences have to be accounted for within a presentation. Speakers are often told to stay away from controversial and contentious topics (unless it is a targeted audience and topic), including religion and politics. For the most part, this is sound advice. However, in addition to political and religious views, you need to clearly recognize the differences among your audience members. By doing this, you will instantly add credibility and value to what you are trying to accomplish. For example, simply asking an audience to speed you up if they are familiar with a subject or to slow you down if they need more time to absorb shows your flexibility and inclusivity. When you create an environment where everyone feels welcome, you increase your ability to relate, thus increasing the chances that the audience will appreciate the intended message. As a spectator, even if I don't agree with the message, I will at least respect it and understand that it is the opinion of the speaker.

46. Know What They Want (Audio of this chapter is available here.)

"They" in this case is the organizer and the people who will be attending the function. Do you know if what you plan to say matches the theme of the overall program, convention, or event, or have you made assumptions? You should ask these questions ahead of time, to prepare yourself for the event: How long do I have? What time do I go on? Who is introducing me? Is the audience expecting humor? Is it a keynote address, or is it supposed to be educational? Is it a lecture, and how interactive is the audience expecting it to be?

When speaking with the meeting organizer, you need to get a preview of what to expect. If the answer from the organizer is, "I don't know," then some homework has to be done by one or both of you. Do you know what the expected attendance is? Have you asked if other speakers will be there, since this could influence order and flow? As the speaker, have you done your own research on the organization? Is it possible to integrate some key pieces of information, like the organization's history, into your presentation in order to establish an instant connection? Once you figure out what "they" want, then adjust your presentation accordingly.

47. Be an Attentive Audience Yourself (Audio of this chapter is available here.)

When you are an audience member, be a critical observer of the speaker. Watch the speaker's body movement, gestures, and stage presence, and listen for voice inflections (changes in pitch and tone). What is the speaker doing right that is keeping your attention and engaging you? Even harder, what can be improved if he or she is losing your attention? Is there something distracting about the mannerisms, use of language, or lack of passion? Are you beginning to count the number of distracting filler words, such as "um," "ah," "you know," and "like," and is the speaker ending every sentence with "really?" and "right?!" Is the message obvious and carried through the presentation? Are there supporting stories? Is it believable? Has the speaker gained your trust and respect, and come across as genuine? You can focus on your own opportunities and target your observations of the speaker. For example, if you have trouble being concise put your critical-listening skills into play and see if the speaker is using an economy of words. You should also take notes for reference later. As a consummate observer, you will always be in learning mode, therefore in a constant state of improvement.

48. Work on Your "Um, Ya Know" Filler Words (Audio of this chapter is available here.)

As much as I might want to say I have never said "um," "ah," "ya know," and "to be honest with you," I would be lying. Yes, "to be honest with you" is another potentially distracting filler phrase that I have used. We all unnecessarily fill silence and voids with non-descript words that have little to no meaning. Even the word "awesome" has lost its true meaning with its overuse. My recent favorite is with the habit of many people ending their sentences with, "Right?" The painful, but effective, solution to filler words is to become conscious of your saying them. Whether you have some trusted listeners around you who will count them or throw a hand up when you say them, or you become conscious of your own usage, you will find that simply paying attention to them and making a concerted effort to improve is all you need to break the habit. We have a comfort level with the use of some of these so-called words and phrases and have built a habit that has to be broken. Just as you would do kicking any bad habit, exercise a strong will, find a solid support system, and you will improve.

49. Engage Your Audience (Audio of this chapter is available here.)

Engaging and connecting with your audience can be as easy as asking questions. Rhetorical, closed-ended questions, such as "Have you ever found yourself in a similar situation...?" will get the audience thinking and heads potentially nodding. You can up the ante with more thought-provoking questions, such as, "What if you found yourself with one day left to live?" The audience instantly will start to relate by figuring out what's in it for them. It is imperative to find creative ways to make the audience a part of the speech somehow by understanding how your words relate to them. Asking thought-provoking open or closed-ended questions allows the door to open to appeal to the audience wants and needs, even when a direct audience response isn't needed.

Conversely, you can interact with the audience by asking them questions that need may require a reply. There is the obvious and often overused question: "How's everyone doing today?" Or you can ask everyone to stand up and get involved somehow. All of these examples avoid letting your audience be passive, and begins to make them a part of the event. Be creative to engage your audience.

50. Have an Individual Conversation with the Whole Audience (Audio of this chapter is available here.)

When you're giving a presentation, it should come across as naturally as a dinner conversation with a loved one. The topics may be slightly different, but the tone should not be. The audience should feel as though they are in your living room with you having a nice chat, so that you come across as genuine, thus providing sincerity and credibility. If the audience feels as though you are acting, or you are speaking through them (instead of with them), you will lose them. Your true personality will begin to shine only when you adopt a conversational approach. This doesn't mean you can't use tools like voice inflection and stage presence, but having the audience perceive your presentation as a personal conversation will strengthen their bond with you.

51. Reduce Personal Distractions (Audio of this chapter is available here.)

Change jingling in the pocket or even a cell phone strapped to your side can take the focus off you and distract the audience just enough to miss your message. Work badges hanging from your side swaying back and forth can have the same effect. Prior to speaking, remove lapel pins and any badges ("Hello my name is..."), pagers and cell phones, and any potentially swinging jewelry. The goal is to minimize the possibility of distractions before it is too late. It seems so small, but any distraction taking away from your message is important to address, especially when the solutions are so simple.

52. Make the Message Stick (Audio of this chapter is available here.)

Audiences learn and retain information differently. My youngest daughter can sit back and absorb a presentation without taking a note and repeat back everything—and I mean everything—she heard. Others, like me, are consummate note-takers. Still others may need some type of visual or auditory stimulation to retain information. It is important to understand this learning diversity when preparing your presentation. Depending on the type of presentation, if possible provide multiple options that work best for information retention by various learning types.

As a speaker, you must have an engaged audience. You can capture their attention by getting them involved, possibly by having them out of their seats to complete an action, or asking open-ended questions that need responses. Additionally, you can have the audience repeat key points you want emphasized or remembered. For some learners, you should provide handouts; many of these learners want something to hold and read from or want to fill in the blanks. Providing paper and a place to take notes makes a big difference to someone like me. Finally, you have people who sit on their hands until they see a visual on the screen or hear music in the background. It's important to account for these visual and auditory learners. More importantly, it's essential to show flexibility for different learners in your audience. The message sticks more when you are conscientious about your audience's needs and learning types.

53. Don't Talk about Your Bad Day (Audio of this chapter is available here.)

We have all had bad days, whether we are not feeling so hot, didn't sleep well, or forgot to pick up the bread our significant other asked for (sorry, honey). These days happen. However, in the public-speaking forum, your audience most likely doesn't care. In fact, you are giving your credibility a backseat to the messages you want to send if you start your presentation with, "Please give me sympathy, or at least understand that I'm not giving you my 'A' game." You shouldn't announce it or even show it in your non-verbal cues. You can't afford to lose your audience. Never start a speech with an apology. Make the effort to muscle through whatever it is and set a better tone right from the beginning. You may be surprised to find that the audience's energy, which you are helping to create, may just solve whatever problem you were having anyway.

54. Avoid Side Comments (Audio of this chapter is available here.)

Avoid side comments that may detract from your presentation. Any comment not specific to your message takes attention away from what you are trying to accomplish as a speaker. To an audience member, side comments may be seen as a potential loss of focus, attention given to someone or something that doesn't need it, or a lack of confidence. Let me give some examples:

Loss of focus: Asking someone to get the lights or asking, "Is my microphone working?" can become your unintended introduction once everyone is settled.

Lack of preparation: Asking if everyone received the packet of information handed out may give an indication of a lack of preparation. Why weren't these packets handed out before the presentation? I have learned that people will most often ask for something if they did not get it.

Misdirected attention: When someone comes in late and you acknowledge that person it takes away from the guests who were there on time.

Lack of confidence or lost credibility: Avoid telling the world that you lack confidence and avoid giving any indication that can lose your audience's trust. You can instantly lose credibility by saying that you are nervous, that you are not ready, that this isn't your line of expertise, that you didn't have much time to prepare, that you are long-winded, that the audience may be bored with a section of the presentation, and many other comments. All of these are real examples that are heard often, especially with less-experienced speakers. If any of the previously mentioned excuses are accurate, rally through them and don't announce them. More importantly, do all of the practice and preparation possible to avoid the need to make side comments in the first place.

Related links:

• Chapter 1: Step into the public forum

• Chapter 2: Find the sources of stage fright

• Chapter 3: Tame the beast

• Chapter 4: Understand that success is possible

• Chapters 5-14: Road to success, the anxiety

• Chapters 15-24: Road to success, don't let personality be an excuse

• Chapters 25-34: Road to success, paint the picture

• Chapters 35-44: Road to success, set your stage story

Tom Dowd has spoken at many of the Midcoast Rotary, Kiwanis and Lions clubs, is a member of the U.S. National Toboggan Championships Committee, and announcer of the event. He lives in Camden with his wife and three daughters. To read his full biography, click here. He can be contacted at transformationtom.com or tomdowd@roadrunner.com. Follow Tom on twitter: @TomDowd4; connect on Facebook at Thomas Dowd Professional Development & Coaching; and on Linkedin, listed as Thomas B Dowd.

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