Dizzy head. Pounding heart. Shaking limbs. Sweating body. Shallow breathing. Queasy stomach. These symptoms hold people back from what they really want — SUCCESS. Public speakers of all levels will resonate with the concise methods found in "From Fear to Success," an easy-to-read guide to overcome anxiety and relate to any audience on their journey to find their communication confidence.

Part II - Road to Success

The Anxiety

5. Identify Why You're Anxious (Audio of this chapter is available here.)

Many of us tend to stay in our comfort zones. When we wander out of these comfort zones, we start to feel anxious. New situations always increase the stress meter. As previously noted, driving in an unfamiliar place without a map or GPS creates that same feeling that washes over us when we step up to a podium or have that big meeting with the boss. The feeling is natural. There are plenty of actors and athletes who get this same feeling before a big event. It is natural. Given an opportunity to present to senior executives at my company, I instantly fear failing in front of them. They trust and have faith that this presentation will be successful, and I never want to let them down. The mental head games we play with ourselves tell us that the risk of failure is there. However, we need to override this feeling by looking at the other side of the coin: that success is likely if we have controlled everything we could and have come prepared. The presentation won't be perfect, so get over it—you can still make it a great performance if you invest the time and effort.

The punishing effects of the mental game can overtake you. What if I embarrass myself? What if the red blotches creep up my neck to my face and I am burning with heat? What if the fear of the fear is overtaking me? What if...what if...what if? A funny thing happened as I learned how to practice and prepare. The more stage time I got, the more confident I became. I had worried about the "blush" factor for too many years, and now the only time I ever think about it is when I am teaching people about how I forgot about it. It truly is no longer a distracting "what if" thought. You too can control the mental game by increasing your time on stage.

You also don't want to bore the audience. You won't, as long as you put the necessary time and effort into the material, message, and delivery to ensure you keep the audience interested. Don't just throw the presentation together and hope it works. You have to remember that most people in an audience want you to succeed, and when you succeed, they walk away thinking about you and your message. If your goal is to entertain, inspire, motivate, or persuade, and they are entertained, inspired, motivated, or persuaded, you have both won. Audiences want to think and be transformed into your world. Take the bold and confident approach. When you believe that you have the message to make a difference in someone's life, that belief should turn into confidence that will resonate with any audience. Turn your words to action, and your action into positive energy. If you say, "I'm really glad to be here," you should mean it. You set the tone.

Finally, a lack of public-speaking experience often drives anxiety. Nothing increases experience more than just doing more of it. So it's time to set up a plan to increase your face time, presentation time, and public time to gain this experience. As you will learn later in the book, when you start to write and prepare for the audience and stop worrying about yourself, many of these anxious feelings will dissipate.

6. Know Symptoms Are Coming (Audio of this chapter is available here.)

While teaching public speaking, I have scared a few people when I've asked, "Who is ready to give a two-minute presentation on [pick a topic]?" Instantly, the stomach sinks, the palms sweat, and the body tremors start. I myself have always battled a red face and blotchy skin; you can tack on tense shoulders and an instant upright stance for me, as well. I've had them all. What was harder than the experience was getting past the fact that the physical reaction was normal. When you are suddenly called on in a business meeting or invited to speak unexpectedly, you probably have a pretty good idea what will happen to you individually. No two people will react the same way, so know your own potential reaction so that you can mentally and physically prepare. I will provide more detailed information on mental and physical preparation in upcoming chapters, but the main point in this section is to understand the power of knowing what's coming. Being conscious of it is half the battle. Your ability to anticipate what's next will put you in a different state of mind, and, therefore, your reaction to what lies ahead will be more settled and stable.

7. Recognize It May Never Go Away (Audio of this chapter is available here.)

No. The anxiety never completely goes away for most speakers. Before you stop reading, understand that the anxious symptoms can simply become a re-focused energy source for you. We've all heard the so-called fact that people would rather die than speak publicly. I've known speakers who sweat, and we have all felt our own heart pounding at what feels like a million beats per second. It happens. The challenge is being able to control these reactions enough that they can actually help us to become better speakers. Much of my own anxiety was less fear and more buildup of energy bursting to come out. I have found that I can use this energy within my presentation to engage the audience and channel it into my stage presence.

The butterflies in my stomach may be fluttering, and my legs may be shaking, but I also know ahead of time that they're coming. Can I redirect them to help me stride onto the stage with purpose, or integrate stronger physical aspects of my speech and thus use the energy to my advantage? Try to understand the most prevalent symptoms you typically get and diagnose what alternate actions you can take to strengthen your message and delivery. Knowing that the feeling may never completely go away can work to your advantage once you stop fighting it and start working to control it, and then use it to enhance your performance.

8. Control and Prepare (Audio of this chapter is available here.)

So, if the anxiety never fully goes away but can be controlled, how do we get there? Control comes with practice and preparation. Try to imagine me at my first state-level speech contest when I couldn't remember the first line, but I could remember the second line. The couple seconds' gaffe felt like it lasted a couple of hours. Then, imagine the moment when I had my shot to go to the World Championship Semi-finals, and I repeated a line two minutes into the presentation. In both cases, I actually gave two of the best speeches of my life, after the mistakes, because I knew I had lost the competition and just wanted to do the rest to prove to myself and the audience that I had a good reason to be there.

I had to change my preparation routine. I couldn't just recite the lines in my car to myself any longer. I had to work on the presentation itself, including my gestures, my stage location, and my pauses. I needed to get out in front of more people. I attempted to contact every Rotary Club, Kiwanis Club, and Lions Club within a thirty-mile radius. I put videos on YouTube and asked for advanced feedback from well-established speakers. I involved my family more; in fact, I have received some of the most critical and useful feedback from my eleven-year-old, thirteen-year-old, and fifteen-year-old children once I asked them to become an active part of the process.

What I found with better preparation and practice was how to be myself. Before, I'd been trying to become an actor, or act like one of my role models. My enhanced preparation techniques and routines taught me to be me. I also found the best way to mitigate the anxiety was to practice as if it was the real presentation every time. This better practice technique was making me more comfortable in my own skin. Personally, I needed to make the speaking process natural. Counter-intuitively, practicing more intensely actually did make me more relaxed and improved my ability to be who I wanted to be on stage.

The following represent key factors to consider within your preparation regimen: (many of which will be explained in detail later).

• Write it out in full, or at least an outline to cover key thoughts
• Either memorize the whole speech or cut down to note cards, but don't wing it
• When practicing, go through the entire presentation; even when you make mistakes, don't stop
• Choose your words carefully, taking into consideration the order, the rhythm, and the intended impact
• Clearly mark the points to emphasize and/or repeat; write out your cues
• Practice in front of a mirror, friends, family, and colleagues
• Carefully add impactful physical aspects to the speech (e.g., facial expressions, gestures)Increase your presentation practice time and stage time; commit to it and speak frequently
• Get familiar with the setting
• Control what you can control (e.g., lighting, temperature, amplification, table/chair set-up)
• Be a student of yourself: videotape yourself, be open to feedback, play to your strengths, minimize self-caused distractions (e.g., paper shuffling, filler words)
• Use familiar experiences: who knows you better than yourself? Talk about what you know; share your stories.

9. Practice Mental Preparation (Audio of this chapter is available here.)

Can you visualize your own success? Do you believe—I mean truly believe—that the audience wants to hear your message? If there are people in the audience, than the answer to that question is yes. You must believe the audience is there for you. They want you to succeed or they wouldn't be there. Dale Carnegie once said, "You can conquer almost any fear if you will only make up your mind to do so. For remember, fear doesn't exist anywhere except in the mind." Have you ever seen world-class athletes close their eyes and run through their performance in their minds? As mentioned in the "Tame the Beast" section of this book, if you've ever watched the Winter Olympics, you may remember camera shots of the skiers visualizing the course. You can see their head, body, and hands in the appropriate position as if they were actually on the slopes already. You can do the same thing with a speech.

My wise wife once told me to never ask a question you don't want the answer to, such as, "Do you think that woman is pretty?" In one of my first district-level Toastmasters competitions, I must have been thinking of the early Olympics, where only amateurs competed. I overheard a couple of conversations and was surprised to hear that some of the competitors were professional speakers. I began to ask them about it while we were milling about before the big contest. I instantly convinced myself that I couldn't compete at this level against these professional speakers. I was done before I started because I didn't believe in my own success.

Additional mental preparation includes knowing who your audience is and who you are talking to. Are they a supportive Toastmasters' audience where it is ingrained to applaud loudly? Have you done your due diligence to have a better idea of what you are walking into? Knowing who the audience is and what they may expect should help in your preparation, thus easing your fear and anxiety. The unknown is what often causes much of the angst. Reduce the unknown and you will build up your confidence level.

Finally, there is no right or wrong way to mentally prepare. As much as the many so-called experts opine about preferred styles and personalities, there are multiple ways to get our mental faculties ready for the big presentation. The fact that you are willing (although your mind may be saying otherwise) should tell you that you are well on your way. You may even find that once you pass the threshold of your peak fear, you actually enjoy your time in front of the audience.

10. Question if Fear is Really Fear (Audio of this chapter is available here.)

Understanding the nature of fear is extremely helpful in getting past it. I am not a clinical expert who can diagnose fear's exact root causes, but I can identify and relate with being outside my comfort zone. Anytime we are in a new situation, we may feel anxiety, fear, stress, discomfort, or whatever you want to call it. What are we afraid of? We may fear failure or embarrassment (will I be boring?). Do you fear this may lead to a poor performance? Is this driving you towards your own self-fulfilling prophecy? What if you turned fear around and recognized that it may actually be the rush of anticipation, energy, and excitement waiting to break out? Maybe deep down inside you can't wait to be out there to have your moment with the audience. You may not feel this at first, but over time, you will understand that fear is similar to many positive feelings. When you are waiting in line for the big roller coaster, you get the same butterflies. It is an adrenaline rush that may be more about anticipation than actual fear of the ride. Could it be that your fear of public speaking induces those same feelings of excitement? Fear can be transformed—especially since it may not be fear at all. Maybe you're simply feeling impatience and anticipation about sharing your message.

11. Practice Physical Preparation (Audio of this chapter is available here.)

What do you do when the anxiety and panic have moved from a mental to a physical problem? You begin by playing mind games with yourself, and all of a sudden your heart is beating out of control, your hands are sweating, and your stomach is about to double over with the worry of being in the public eye. You must understand that you do have some control. Notice I wrote "some" and not "total." As stated earlier, we need to accept the fact that the anxiety may never go away completely. However, can you use the built-up energy to your advantage? Let's start with the easiest step—take deep breaths. I mean really deep. Not quick and shallow to say you did it, but deep down to your diaphragm. Next, find where the tension is building up. Is it in your neck, shoulders, or fingers? Like an athlete, begin to ease the tension by stretching out the parts of your body that need it most. By concentrating on relaxing the tension in specific sections of your body, you will ease the mental games and feel the physical tension dissipate.

Additionally, you should prepare ahead of time to minimize the physical symptoms for the presentation. This can be accomplished by getting plenty of rest and by avoiding caffeine. I found myself in front of over one hundred individuals at a presentation at the local YMCA when my hands and arms began to shake uncontrollably. Interestingly, I felt great that day and did not feel nervous at all. I realized I'd had a soda with caffeine in it a couple of hours before the event. Although I was not nervous, I was excited and found that when the building adrenaline kicked in, the caffeine decided to join in the fun.

Another way to stay limber and control your body is through exercise. In addition to having a normal cardiovascular routine that keeps your heart strong, you should try to exercise a couple of hours prior to the presentation, if possible, to get the blood flowing and your body stabilized. Some people like to use meditation and yoga as other means to prepare themselves. The final tip is to stay within as much of your own routine as possible. The routine adds further stability, due to your familiarity with what's going on around you. This mental comfort will add to your physical comfort.

12. Stop Telling Me to Relax — It Only Makes Me Tense (Audio of this chapter is available here.)

Nothing brings on tension more than someone telling you to relax. Before some important presentations, I remember good-intentioned people telling me to relax. I often would put my arms to my side and would instantly straighten up as my way to relax. I became as stiff as a board as soon as the word "relax" was used. I obviously wasn't intentionally attempting to look tense in my efforts to relax, but nothing seemed to work as my shoulders stiffened.

If telling me to relax won't work, then what does? Speak frequently. Those who haven't made the determined leap yet to improve their public-speaking skills may do the opposite by avoiding every situation possible. I know, because I was one of them. The more I avoided the situations, the more intense the elevated anxiety would be prior to the inevitable time when I did have to finally speak publicly. I learned that I had to speak, and speak, and speak some more. I began to volunteer to present. Volunteers are often asked for, and, obviously, not everyone jumps at these requests. I also became proactive in contacting friends, family, and colleagues and asking to practice a speech in front of them. I have started many emails with, "I have an odd request...," asking to practice in front of a group at work who had nothing to do with the topic I was talking about. I have found very few times when people have said no. My goal is to get to a point at which I look so relaxed that people don't need to tell me to relax.

13. Play to Your Strengths (Audio of this chapter is available here.)

What makes you happy? Which subjects are you a master of? I am not the greatest humorist storyteller around. Although I am improving, humorous storytelling is not my strength. I have plenty of funny stories, but my delivery and passion are better geared towards inspirational and motivational messaging. I can sprinkle humorous anecdotes throughout a presentation to emphasize points, but I stick to my strengths. You should continue to work on your own aspects that need improving, but keep to what makes you special. The differentiating factors should be a focal point of your speeches. If you are a high-energy speaker, get out from behind the lectern and use the stage to your advantage. Your strengths are a direct reflection of your confidence level and as you play more to these strengths the chances are much greater that you will deliver a stellar performance.

14. Do Something with Your Hands and Arms (Audio of this chapter is available here.)

Oh, those pesky hands and arms! Unless the speaker has some natural or rehearsed specific movements, many speakers' hands and arms have been known to:

• flail around
• hide in pockets
• perch on hips
• hide behind backs
• clench into fists

This chapter is intentionally placed under the "Anxiety" category because nothing screams nerves more than people uncomfortable with their arms and hands. As formal as it may appear at first, always have your arms at your side unless they are in the middle of intentional actions or come up as a natural movement. The hands should also be unclenched; a clenched fist is a visible indicator of your anxiety. I was once given the advice that if nerves start to creep in, to rub your thumb against your palm in each hand; the subtle act of your thumb rubbing your palm allows your hands to remain at your side and still appears normal. Over time, you will become naturally looser. Additionally, hands touching—either fingers together or fingertips touching—or hands behind your back often give the audience an uptight feeling, especially if it is prior to you starting your presentation. Having your arms at your side should be like home base—your default position before your next gesture. This position took a little getting used to when I first started, since I tensed up my shoulders with the straight arms, but over time it truly becomes a comfortable launching point for your hands.

Related links:

• Chapter 1: Step into the public forum

• Chapter 2: Find the sources of stage fright

• Chapter 3: Tame the beast

• Chapter 4: Understand that success is possible

Tom Dowd has spoken at many of the Midcoast Rotary, Kiwanis and Lions clubs, is a member of the U.S. National Toboggan Championships Committee, and announcer of the event. He lives in Camden with his wife and three daughters. To read his full biography, click here. He can be contacted at transformationtom.com or tomdowd@roadrunner.com. Follow Tom on twitter: @TomDowd4; connect on Facebook at Thomas Dowd Professional Development & Coaching; and on Linkedin, listed as Thomas B Dowd.