“Are they always so happy?” It’s a question apparently referring to Wally and me, posed by a woman working on our furnace last week. She and her boss had been up and down the cellar stairs several times, fetching tools, etc., and there we were, the “cute older couple” of the house, cheerfully chatting them up.

“Maybe we better ramp it down a few notches,” I whispered to my other half. “She ought to hear us when no one’s around.”

Ever since we were interviewed on WABI a week or two ago, we’ve been getting comments like this.  What was meant to be a piece on our rag rug business ended up, thanks to judicious editing, a conversation about our marriage.

        No, we’re not always that happy. Haven’t always been that happy, I might add. Who is? What we have done is last. Perhaps the trick is still liking (and loving) each other in spite of “lasting”.  I think of marriage as cyclical, endlessly repeating itself through the years, and hopefully always coming back to the beginning, to some version of what attracted you in the first place.

        We’ve never stopped battling over the exact same issues that irked us back in 1967 when our relationship was brand new. Circumstances change: add three children to the mix, not enough money, vehicles that kept breaking down, aging and ailing parents, too much work and not enough sleep and the mix turns to a depressing brew.

        Now that I try to recall the actual events that led up to some of our more epic battles, I find they’ve vanished in the mists of memory. Saturday mornings were our worst times, almost without fail I do remember fighting our way through every one of them. I remember the slatting around, muttering to no one in particular, tears, shouts, and finally the truck squealing away up the road. Unfortunately, there were witnesses, three of them, to those awful mornings. They tell us now how they hated them, but hopefully any damage we inflicted has been tempered by the years. We have stayed together, after all, to enjoy their families, to be, ah, shining examples of marital bliss.

        In our defense, we almost always made up by lunchtime. “Sorry” wasn’t a word that entered into our marriage until years later, but generally all it took was a softer tone to blow away the storm clouds, and all was well until the next time.

        Thankfully, hurtful though we were to each other at those times, it never turned physical. Half an hour sitting up at the Bald Rock trailhead, listening to country and western on the radio, was enough to cool off the meanest-mouthed husband. Meanwhile, back at home, out in the garden maybe, viciously pulling weeds and talking to myself about the terrible injustice of it all, I cooled down, too.

        We here in the Midcoast have vicariously been witnesses, this past week or so, to a marriage in crisis. Apparently because of the celebrity of the couple, their meltdown has been reported in details we have no business reading. But of course, being human, read it we do. And then, I assume I’m not speaking only for myself, we feel creepy that we did.

        I said it in that feel-good interview on television the other night, “Marriage is a hell of a lot of work.”

You fall in love with someone, with his wit, with his integrity, ambition, kindness, and yes, with something about the way he looks. They call it chemistry. And then you promise to live with him, care for him, to cherish him for the rest of your life! Brother, that’s a handful.

        You’ve tied yourself forever to his whims, to his sloppy (or persnickety) habits, to his mother, his siblings, his temperament.  All the while he’s trying to figure out your mother and your crazy yearnings. Then you complicate things immeasurably by deciding to procreate with him. And so those witnesses, those vulnerable little beings who depend on the two of you to protect them and to raise them into happy adults, are there to see every slip along the way. It seems like such a great thing to do. “Let’s have a baby.” And then, how often does it happen that the marriage gets into trouble and sealing the deal with another baby seems like a good idea.

        Oh boy.

        Leslie Devoe of the Recreation Commission reports that Robin Milliken is leading the effort to clear space on Norton Pond for general skating and pond hockey. Once the area is cleared and the banks around it fortified, the plan is to flood the area to make a good surface. If you’d like to help clear off the snow or can donate a wooden bench, fire pit, or hockey nets, call Leslie at 763-4239. Keep an ice on the project, then grab your skates and bring the family out.

Playing Outdoors in Winter Benefits Children

Parents and children are invited to story time this Friday, January 29 at 11 a.m. at the Lincolnville Community Library. Ann McKittrick will read a selection of books for the season and lead a simple craft. The program is geared for children ages two to five, but all are welcome. The library will continue to offer story time every last Friday of the month and even more often if there is enough interest. The children’s music program will also continue on the first Friday of each month through May.

Each of our major ponds – Pitcher, Coleman, Norton/Megunticook – has a Pond Association looking out for its welfare. These associations are generally made up of the people who own the land around the pond. They meet once a year, and report on the state of their pond in a newsletter. Here are excerpts from the “Invasive Plant Patrol Report for Coleman Pond” completed this past fall:

“Coleman Pond is part of the Ducktrap River Watershed, which is one of the few rivers in the United States that contains native, sea-run Atlantic salmon. With an average depth of 14 feet, Coleman Pond is a warm-water fish habitat. … the potential for nuisance algal blooms on Coleman Pond is above average. The trend in Coleman Pond’s water quality over the past 14 years has remained remarkably stable, but this could easily change with increased development pressure and changes in regional weather patterns.

[The survey] ruled out the presence of Maine’s 11 most unwanted invasive aquatic plants, which includes: Brazilian Waterweed, Curly Leaf Pondweed, European Naiad, Eurasian Water Milfoil, Fanwort, Hydrilla, Parrot Feather, Variable Leaf Milfoil (VLM), Water Chestnut, and Yellow Floating Heart. The invasive aquatic plant that is most commonly found in Maine is Variable Leaf Milfoil, and was the primary focus of this survey. …

“An abundance of native Purple Bladderwort, Common Bladderwort, Water Marigold and Hornwort was identified in Coleman Pond. … Milfoils are the only plants that have finely divided leaves that resemble feathers. Bladderworts will have branching leaves with ‘bladders,’ and hornworts will have forked leaves. All aquatic plants with finely divided leaves are considered suspicious until proven otherwise.

“During the survey, a fish that strongly resembled a Northern Pike was observed. Native Chain Pickerel are known to inhabit Coleman Pond, and have a distinctive chain like pattern. Because Northern Pike and Chain Pickerel can resemble each other at different life stages, scaling on the gill plates are the best way to differentiate one species from the other. … Northern Pike and Chain Pickerel are able to hybridize, which could make proper identification of the specimen more difficult due to shared characteristics in hybridized offspring.”

Butter a small oven proof dish

Saute about 1 cup of chopped vegetables (onion, celery, peppers, greens, mushrooms, broccoli etc.) in a little oil or butter just long enough to wilt them. Add meat: ham, bacon, sausage, etc., about 2 – 3 T chopped up, if you want.

Break 1 leftover hot dog or hamburger roll or other soft bread into the dish. Sprinkle the vegetable/meat mixture on top.

Whisk 2-3 eggs with 1 T of milk; season with whatever you like – salt and pepper, creole seasoning, herbs.

Pour eggs over the stuff in the dish. Sprinkle with a handful of grated cheese.

Bake at 400 for about 20-25 minutes, or until it puffs up and the cheese is browned.

This is almost as good as pie for breakfast.