I’m very fortunate that the girls here at the Pilot let me write whatever I want. They don’t suggest anything or try to steer me toward certain subjects. They also are good with being called girls. They are wonderful ladies and great girls all at the same time. I like that.

If you write and ignore big issues, you’re probably just filling some pages, so after much thought, I’m going to weigh in on the United Mid-Coast Charities situation. You may love me or hate me when you get to the end, but I guess you either love me or hate me now, so what will be different?

Many years ago in the quiet community of Union when my son was in elementary school, there was a janitor there named Mike Elwell. Everyone loved Mike. All the teachers. All the students. All the parents. We all loved Mike.

Mike was abusing young boys in the school. When it all came out in the open, the whole community was filled with anger. Some were angry with the principal. Some were angry at Mike. Some were angry at the people that accused Mike.

When the sheriff’s department showed up at my house to interview my son, I was angry at everybody, including them. After the initial anger many of us went to work. This was something we knew little about, so we sought resources to learn more. There was a trial and Mike was found guilty.

While my son was not identified as a victim, he was close friends with them and was asked to speak at the sentencing. It still brings tears to my eyes remembering that day and him sharing in that courtroom what Mike had done to his friends and how he had violated their trust and the trust of the school and community.

Here’s what we found out when we researched the situation: People who intend to take advantage of others plan their actions carefully. They build trust. They work to portray themselves as upstanding people in the community. Everything they say and do is part of a plan to create an image that makes people overlook things they might not otherwise overlook.

I’m not comparing the accused in the United Mid-Coast Charities situation with a child molester, but when all this became public and the comments that followed took me back all those years to what happened to our community. This is an issue of violating trust, clear and simple. The details will all come out in time. I feel the outrage and anger because I’ve felt it before. Making unfounded accusations and faulting people involved with no facts just fuels the fire.

While there are lots of unanswered questions about this situation, let’s just look at one question. Suppose that you know that my friend, Tim, is going through some hard times. You don’t really know Tim, but you’re good friends with me and I know Tim. I’m an upstanding guy and everyone loves me so you give me $20 to give to Tim to help him out. I thank you very much, tell you what a good person you are and assure you that Tim will appreciate your generosity. But I keep the $20. Tim never knew that you gave it to him and you never knew that I didn’t give it to him.

It seems simple and it is, but that’s the way things work. Yes, there are other questions about the money, but they’ll all come out in time and be dealt with because we’re talking about good people here who are hurting more than any of the rest of us.

It is not possible to violate someone’s trust until you have earned their trust. People who intend to do evil understand that. So there’s a process to build that trust to the point that people don’t question motives or actions. As the process goes on, when someone does raise a concern the masses come to defense of the accused. It has happened over and over again. I never knew that until it happened in Union.

One person is accused of making decisions with money that benefited him instead of the needy people who should have benefited from that money. One person. Only one person. Don’t lose sight of that.

I’ve seen firsthand how something like this can divide communities, make enemies of friends and cause irrefutable harm. Don’t let that happen here. Chill. Let the facts come out. A lot of very good people who chose to serve on a board to help those less fortunate are hurting right now and it would mean a lot to them if you reached out to them. United is the first word of the organization. Mid-Coast is where we live. Charity is what it’s all about. While it’s unfortunate that the organization name became associated with someone who appears to have violated our trust, the organization and the board members who direct it have not.