I had planned to write a fun little column about spooky stories and trick or treating in times past. But then came that Wednesday evening text from my brother, attending a conference in Lewiston/Auburn. Something happened that should be unimaginable, but somehow, is not. A troubled man with a firearm went to places where people had gathered for an evening of fun and ended the lives of 18 people, and permanently altered the lives of countless others.

In just a few minutes, as many lives were lost by violence as usually are lost in a year in this state.

Like many of you, the next couple days were spent watching, listening, and scrolling through the news. Trying to understand; 1.3 million people in this state, the size of a modest city. You hear people joke about how Maine is just a big small town, but never did it seem as true as this week. If we didn’t personally know one of the victims, we likely know someone who did. The manhunt was in the backyard of my in-laws, my brother spent that first evening locked down in his hotel room.

As the names and faces and stories of the people we lost came out, it just hurt more. Just folks having a good time with their friends. Bowling, playing cornhole with their buddies, tossing back a frosty beverage or two. People you can imagine laughing around the fire pit with.

School was cancelled the next day for my kids. I kept thinking of all those kids who’s parent didn’t come home from a well-deserved night out. 

And of course, all the speculation about how this could have happened. It is appears that the gunman was suffering from an unspecified mental illness. Questions, accusations. Why did he have access to that firearm? Should anyone have access to that firearm? It is clearly a mental health issue not a gun issue.

Well, folks, I have spent my career in the mental health field, and of course, nothing is that simple. Do we have a mental health crisis in this country? Oh, absolutely. There are not nearly enough providers for the need. Mental health treatment can be cost prohibitive for many. And the stigma still exists for some; anecdotally I would argue that men in particular can be resistant to accepting treatment. 

And mental healthcare is an issue worldwide. Mass shootings are not. I believe we need to get beyond a binary argument of “No guns for anyone” versus “All guns for everyone.” We need to start having an adult conversation about access to firearms. There is a reason that one of the first questions asked of someone presenting for mental health treatment is whether they have access to a firearm. If you dig into the statistics, you will see that the vast majority of gun deaths in this state are suicides. People facing mental health crisis are almost always more of a risk to themself.

As I often say in this column, it is a time to reach out to each other, and truly listen. Be there for your friends, your family, your neighbors. Talk to your children, hear their questions, their concerns. If you or someone you care about is struggling with mental health, the statewide crisis line is 888-568-1112. It is staffed 24/7. Do not be afraid to reach out to a mental health counselor- it may take a few calls to find someone with availability, but we are out there. And I have heard from a lot of people who have found online counseling extremely helpful.

And as we struggle to make sense of the senseless, try to avoid the nastiness and division that so often follows these tragedies. We are all Mainers. We can be cantankerous and stubborn, but we know how to come together when things get tough. And things are indeed tough.

Halloween Activities

Lincolnville Center promises to be the place for Halloween this Tuesday. Trunk or Treat stops will be at LCS and The Lincolnville General Store parking lots. The Lincolnville General Store is once again hosting its annual costume contest: the great Michael O’Neill will once again be snapping photos which will be posted on the store’s Facebook page for community voting. The eighth grade class will be selling warm beverages at the school to fundraise for their class trip. And don’t forget to stop by the Lincolnville Fire Station between 4-8 for treats and the opportunity to touch a truck! They keep them nice and shiny. Remember, though, always ask before touching a fire guy.

I tried on my costume yesterday, and I am happy to report that it made my 5 year old niece scream. Mission accomplished.

Sympathy

To the family and loved ones of Ramon Aubrey Collemer. A long life well lived.

So, a grim topic this week. Like so many things this weekend, I have postponed writing about spooky tales until next week, when hopefully the real news is less terrifying. Please try to be there for your neighbors, and treat each other with care and compassion, and listen. Take the time to breath, pet a dog, eat a peanut butter cup. Reach out to me at ceobrien246@gmail.com.

CALENDAR

Tuesday, October 31

Library open 3-6 p.m. 208 Main Street

AA Meeting 12 p.m., Community Building, 18 Searsmont Road

Trick or Treat activities begin at 4 in the Center: Drive Safe!

Wednesday, November 1

Library open 2-5 p.m. 

Friday, November 3

AA Meeting 12 p.m., Community Building, 18 Searsmont Road

Library open 9-12, 208 Main Street

Saturday, November 4

Library open 9-12, 208 Main Street

Sunday, November 5

United Christian Church, 9:30 a.m. Worship, 18 Searsmont Road

Bayshore Baptist Church, 9:30 a.m. Sunday School, 11 worship, 2648 Atlantic Highway