- Private group -
Thu, 07/15/2021 - 7:45am


We steal excerpts from his diaries and publish them for our amusement.
Aren’t we frickin’ great?
Here’s an excerpt:

Grand Mal FAILURE – by Small Head Ted


EDITOR’S NOTE: Teddy wrote this before Buddy passed. The Grand Mal seizure was one of the indications that something was wrong with Buddy. Don’t think Teddy is insensitive or cruel.

Dear Diarrhea [Editor’s Note: Dear Diary]

Everyone’s all worried about that idiot Buddy again. Well I’m sick of it. I always disliked that dog and now I know why. He’s a big fat old attention-grabber. Everything is always about him. It’s always “Buddy needs this,” “Buddy just got his head stuck in the screen door,” and “GROSS! Buddy laid a huge FART!!!”

Well Buddy The Dummy, others live in Chez Salty too, you know. Liana doesn’t have TIME to keep cleaning up your pee and poop. And Don doesn’t have all the time in the world to do whatever he does with you. You are just a selfish old dog who can’t get over yourself and almost never gets off the couch.

Like the seizure he pretended to have this morning – totally fake. But Don and Liana were running around being crazy over Buddy’s pathetic off-off-off-off-off-off Broadway show.

That morning Don was driving up from Pownal. Liana let us all out and we ran to the lawn. Max and Auggie went pee pee and poopie as quickly as possible and ran up to the door again so they could get breakfast as quickly as possible. Pathetic. I don’t care about breakfast, so I sniff the entire lawn at my leisure. That’s when I saw Liana bringing Buddy down the steps. Buddy did his usual slow sniffing of the bushes and went to pee.

That’s when he froze. He fell over on his side and started galloping in the dirt. His eyes were wide open and rolled back and he was frothing at the mouth. He made muffled yelps and pooped everywhere.

Poor Liana thought he was actually having a medical emergency. But I could tell he was faking. I could do everything Buddy was doing and I could do it better.

Interested in reading the rest?  Click here: https://www.twosaltydogs.net/blog/grand-mal-failure-by-small-head-ted/

Not interested in reading the rest? Click here: https://yt3.ggpht.com/a/AATXAJw-KdzugVWoT8oBp0moQp_2vcgmgskPYWBZYw=s900-c-k-c0xffffffff-no-rj-mo