When the Lincolnville Bulletin Board blew up the other night (all right, it was a pretty small blow-up) over a seemingly innocent post announcing an upcoming meeting, people all over town could be heard groaning, “not again!”

The rules of our Lincolnville Bulletin Board are pretty simple: no discussion of politics and/or religion. However, the notice of upcoming political or religious events can be posted. Period. Unwritten, but assumed, is that we’ll be civil toward one another on our community message board. Everyone who signs up agrees to abide by this.

The problem with the offending post was that it contained a link https://www.indivisibleguide.com to explain the purpose of the meeting. Go ahead and click on it. There it is, a guide explaining how to resist the Trump agenda, and it’s based on the tactics used by the Tea Party in 2010. Their online guide explains how a relatively small group of activists organized to stop the Obama agenda, which in many ways they succeeded in doing. The guide explains how to repeat their results, only this time against Trump.

The meeting is intended to set up an Indivisible group in Waldo County. And suddenly our normally peaceful and neighborly Bulletin Board seemed filled with vitriol.

Now, really, only three people responded to the entire LBB expressing their outrage at this, to their minds, political post. Surely others vented more privately, while some quickly responded that the original message contained no political talk, only the link. As an aside to this I’ll mention that there is a moderator, Pat Putnam, who jumps in when things get hairy, asking people to calm down. Was it political? You decide.

I guess it comes down to this: we’re sick of hearing the other guy’s side of things. In an earlier column I referred to the Ds and the Rs, but leaving party aside, we could call us the Right and the Left. Here we are in this little town, and many of us are firmly seated on one side or the other. Putting aside all the things that bring us together – a love of local history, for instance, or spotting wildlife in our backyards, or the genuine caring for one another’s families, worrying with each other through illnesses and deaths and hard times – we somehow manage to hate one another for our political beliefs. Sad. (as our President would say).

And yet, here’s the Left’s agenda as stated on the Indivisible’s website: a clean climate, economic justice, health care for all, racial equality, gender and sexual equality, peace and human rights. Hard to argue with, isn’t it? Put in a more down-to-earth way, don’t we all want health insurance that protects us, higher education for our kids that doesn’t put them into crippling debt, jobs that pay enough to give us a decent life? Are we really that far apart in what we want?

A friend stopped by the other day to keep me company for a bit, and at some point the conversation veered to the happenings in our government.

“What we need,” he said, “is a Department of History.”

Think of it. An actual Cabinet-level position for a cadre of historians to remind each Administration of where this or that policy has taken his/her predecessors.

One of the more troubling policies is this Administration’s approach to immigration. As the mother-in-law of two green card holders, women who have legally immigrated to this country, bringing with them their skills, as well as my grandchildren, I can only see how immigration has enriched us.

Maybe some of you were at Wally’s service last month; I read a piece written by my nephew, my brother’s son. This is how it started:

“I can hear my mom saying, “I don’t think Wally’s funeral is a good time to talk about politics!” Well, I think this is a good time to talk about politics. At my father’s funeral we tried to avoid it. Instead we spoke of what he left us: his endless love, his brain, and his optimism. We talked about his boundless light. Others talked politics. Grover Norquist talked about taxes. Newt Gingrich talked about how important Bill was for “our victories in ’95, and how his contributions will resonate to 2016 onward.”

Onwards to 2016 indeed! I’ll never forget that moment. Doubly so with all that’s come since. Newt returned the mic, and I quickly said into it. “Dad was also proud to have raised three liberal children.”

And that was true. He was a profoundly open man.

I scanned the room again. And of course, there was Wally.

He was doing his civic duty by being visibly unhappy, and his family duty by keeping his mouth shut. He was at Diane’s side, dressed without flare. His expression said it all. “2016 my ass. See you in hell.”

I guess that was the last time I saw him.

How do you come to love a man with whom you disagree? You hope for his success, invest in his family, and then you both build a family strong enough for the differences.”

Yes, my brother Bill was not just a lifelong Republican, but in a position to make things happen. He, along with Newt Gingrich and Grover Norquist and so many others, consciously shaped the message of a party of conservative businessmen to appeal to a way broader population, the party we see today.

It wasn’t easy, convincing working men and women, blue collar and pink collar, the heart and soul of the Democratic party, that the Republicans had more to offer them. But they did it. And Wally and I watched it happen. It was calculated and clever. The question remains: who benefits? The Republican party or the converts?

Wally and I lived through those years with my brother (the brother I dearly loved all my life, but the brother I didn’t agree with on a single political issue), having endless arguments about Reagan, about economics, about taxes – and never scored a single point for our side. The trouble was, we told each other in those days, we just weren’t that well-read; politics, and these Republican-economic-tax issues were his bread and butter.

And he was an incredibly skilled debater. We’d flounder through some argument, without any facts to back it up, ending lamely with “but it’s the right thing to do”, feeling helpless in the face of his clever spinning.

No matter what side we’re on, we have to be alert: they spin everything. The Rs do it and so do the Ds. There isn’t an issue that doesn’t get twisted and spun to advantage the guy making the argument. My brother taught us that.

So where do we go from here?

We can’t keep this up, feelings raw on both sides, some of us waiting for our country to become great again, others terrified about when the next shoe will drop. When all we really want is …. what? Health insurance, a decent job, a secure retirement.

Here in Maine, we want better paying jobs, reliable fisheries, creative ways to use our natural resources, more sustainable energy, healthy wildlife, clean water and air; certainly all of us notice the warmer winters – can/should anything be done about that?

Opiate addiction with all its soul-killing ramifications has to be a priority.

We need to invest in infrastructure – housing, roads, bridges.

We need more babies, and we need to make this a place where they want to stay.

So instead of dismissing each other over our politics, let’s do as Keryn Laite always said over the hedge between his house and Liz Hand’s: “Be neighborly.”

We ought to be able to figure out how to do that.

One More Thing If you happen to be a Lincolnville Bulletin Board subscriber there are two simple ways we can avoid future blow-ups over things we disagree about. The first is to reply only to the person who posted the offensive message, not to the whole Board. Discuss it with them, hopefully civilly, explaining why you object to what they wrote. If that’s not enough for you, take it to Pat Putnam pputnam@mac.com, the LBB moderator/manager.

The second redress for a post that you feel is too political or opinionated is the Lincolnville Discussion Board https://groups.google.com/forum/?nomobile=true#!forum/lincolnvillediscussion which was set up specifically as a place to discuss these kinds of issues.

Library

This Tuesday, February 28, will be a busy evening at the Lincolnville Community Library.

First the needlework group will meet from 4 to 6 p.m. and then the book group will gather from 6 to 7 p.m. to discuss scientist Hope Jahren’s memoir “Lab Girl.”

As always, everyone is welcome to join either gathering or come to both. The book group will return next month to its more usual meeting date of the third Tuesday, which will be March 21.

Then on Friday, March 3 Jessica Day of Midcoast Music Together, will offer the third in a series of free family music programs at the Library. All families with children from newborn to age 5 are invited to come sing, dance, and explore musical instruments together. The series will continue on the first Friday of each month through June. For more information, call 763-4343 or email questions@lincolnvillelibrary.org.

Foxtrotting at the Community Building

It’s not too late to join the foxtrot lessons at the Community Building. Come this Thursday, 6:30 p.m. to see what it’s all about. The series goes on for a total of six weeks. Reflections for Lent Starting Sunday, March 5, a five-week series of music and seasonal readings along with moments of quiet reflection will mark the Lenten season at United Christian Church.

The 45-minute program begins at 4 p.m. The first week, "Just a Closer Walk with Thee”, organist Connie Parker will accompany the hymn singing and Pastor Susan Stonestreet will be the reader. The church is at 18 Searsmont Road, Rt 173, in Lincolnville Center, and is handicapped accessible. Free-will donation. All welcome. Contact Mary at 785-3521 for more information.

Why We Live

Here It’s amazing to me that the state of Maine doesn’t capitalize on what we do best: make community. Seems like it might be a big selling point in getting people, especially young families, to move here.

Just this week Jodi Hanson sent out, from the Town Office, a link to a Meal Train for the Barrows family, dealing with Christina’s cancer. As parents of school-age twins, Randy and Christina have their hands full as she begins a treatment schedule that includes multiple trips for radiation, etc. In less than a week enough people have signed up to take a meal to the family for the next six weeks.

Meanwhile, Erin Herbig, Belfast’s representative to the Legislature, sent out this: “I wanted to invite you to a reception I’m hosting to support Waldo County Woodshed next month. We both know how expensive it can be to keep a home warm through a Maine winter. Now is the perfect time to make sure our neighbors’ woodpiles are high enough to get by until spring. The Woodshed is a great, volunteer-run organization which provides temporary heating assistance and they’ll need to restock soon.

“We’ll be at The Ocean House (2 Cross Street Belfast) from 6-8 p.m. on Tuesday, March 14. I hope you can make it, but if not you can still donate to the Woodshed online. You can find their GoFundMe https://www.gofundme.com/waldowoodshed page or mail donations to P.O. Box 401, Belfast ME 04915.”

Food and fuel, two ways to help out our neighbors.

Wildlife

The beautiful buck that’s been visiting Corelyn Senn’s wildlife camera finally showed up without his antlers. She writes: “I have been waiting for this buck's antlers to drop and finally at least one did last night. I will try to get out later today to see if the second one is in the area. He might not even have dropped it yet although it is so late that it will certainly be soon. This one was by the live-feed camera up in the woods. I should know something more after I check the trail cam. Bucks drop their antlers between December and February but usually much earlier than this even in February.” As of her walk this Sunday with our dog Fritz, that second antler hasn’t showed up.

Sandy Delano responded: “My son and I were headed toward the Beach some 30 years ago, and a large buck ran through someone’s hedge. He had two antlers when he went in and one when he came out. The one he shed was hanging on my son’s bedroom wall all the time he was a teenager. No idea if he still has it.”

Richard Glock reports seeing a large flock of robins just before the blizzard of a couple of weeks ago. Then last week he had a dozen Cedar Waxwings showed up, one with a bright, bright orange breast.

Movie of the Week

I Am Not Your Negro, a documentary featuring James Baldwin, is riveting. Although Baldwin died some 30 years ago, this is a contemporary film using his own words read by an actor, as well as extensive footage of Baldwin himself speaking. It was shown at the Camden Opera House, a one-time event, but I think it might come into theaters as well.

A Month On

“How are you doing?” It’s a greeting I’ve grown used to. It’s usually followed by a hug, and I like that.

So many people have said “keep writing about losing Wally” that I will. As I’ve said before, how can I not? I’ve never been a crier. I tell myself a story that losing my birthmother the day I was born (she surrendered me for adoption) hardened me. When you lose the one and only person you know so viscerally, before you even meet her, there’s not much left to lose.

There may be something to my theory, or not. My dad, mother, brother, Dale, Margaret, so many others and hardly any tears. Then I lost Wally. Do you know there’s a kind of crying that’s a howl? It’s not so much weeping, which seems to me steady and quiet, controlled, but something more primitive. Women do it in childbirth; a midwife friend knew what I was talking about: “I always told women to let it out”, she said, “let your baby hear you. Your baby needs to hear you.”

I don’t know who hears me, probably just the dog. It doesn’t last for a long time, but it happens every day now. It took three weeks to finally start to let it out. It certainly doesn’t feel good, but it feels right.