The anti-Valentine’s Day love notes

Dear Barbara...

Tue, 02/14/2017 - 4:00pm

    CAMDEN — When Willow Henry-Elwell, manager of Rockport Blueprint, Camden’s art supply store, went to tidy up the pen area of the store where people tend to try out a color on random bits of scrap paper, she found an odd handwritten note that read:

    Dear Barbara,

    In hopes that you find this, I just wanted to say I’m sorry. I should have never cheated on you with my intern, Felicia. Love always, Your Husband, Ralph.

    The note was signed with a little red heart.

    “I thought it was hilarious and I didn’t want to throw it away,” said Henry-Elwell. “I decided to post it right by the register.”

    After many customers saw the original note, another note, appeared soon after in the scrap paper pile by the pens — this time, addressing Ralph, the cheating husband. After that, a series of different colored notes began to appear in different handwriting, telling an uneven and wonky story. Suddenly, somebody named Raspberry had a stake in Barbara and Ralph’s marriage. (Or did she really mean Raphael?) Then, once again, the intern Felicia made an appearance in a note. (As in ‘Bye Felicia?’).

    “It just sort of took off from there,” said employee Lee Gabriel. “One lady came up to the counter and got really indignant and said, ‘My name is Felicia.’”

    Gabriel said, “Are you an intern?” Felicia said no.

    “I think you’re going to be okay,” said Gabriel.

    “Other people started to add to the paper pile,” said Henry-Elwell. “It didn’t necessarily have something to do with the original story line, but it became this saga, and was just as funny.”

    The ongoing note exchange prompted another intern to have the courage to jump in and tell his story as well. Jeffery, that intern, also had a heartfelt apology for his love, Amara (apparently mortified he called her Boo-Boo) to which Amara promptly kicked him to the curb. As The Donald would say himself: “Sad.”

    Then, Amara had a pink pen change of heart and not only forgave Jeffrey for his egregious use of a unsanctioned nickname, but also decided to splurge and buy them tickets to Tahiti.

    So, I guess, this was a love story after all.


    Kay Stephens can be reached at news@penbaypilot.com